crack myself up

to laugh hysterically at your own jokes, whether or not anyone else laughs at them.

And then the eagle says, "That's not MY nest!"...sigh. I crack myself up.

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I called myself

A phrase generally used when describing a failed or fake attempt at an action in American slang.

I called myself modeling, but I was taking pictures for my blog.

I called myself cooking, but that burnt piece of chicken couldn't even qualify as food.

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I Hate Myself

1. A term used to descibe self-hatred.
2. Also a short lived 80s hardcore band. No,really!

1. "I hate myself" muttered Kurt Cobain
2. I Hate Myself are a great band!

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i shat myself

I shat myself is an even more extraordinary sentence for I shit my pants, you don’t want to go around saying “I shit my pants” but instead you could say “ I shat myself” you’ll be the coolest kid at school.

Nessa Berret: i shat myself

Josh Richard: I thought you sharted

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I hate myself

When you do something mildly stupid or a minor inconvenience occurs
Synonyms:
I want to kill myself

Teen 1: *Drops pencil* I hate myself

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I hate myself

When you seriously messed up and you don't want to get in trouble

OH NO I BROKE THAT CLOCK I HATE MYSELF

time to kill myself

You say this when you see something so cancerous, it makes you want to kill yourself. Can also be used in a good way.

Well, I just met someone who believes women don't have rights. Time to kill myself.

(used in a good way), I just watch the Angry Birds movie. Time to kill myself