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A group of sick fucks that give Christianity a bad name. They go around picketing and protesting every fucking thing that's beliefs are not absolutely identical to theirs. They claim that everyone who tolerates homosexuality or anything they disagree with for that matter is going to hell. It's fucking shit. They have no sanity or compassion in them, and if anyone deserves to go to fucking hell, it's them. They're sorry fucking excuses for human beings.
The westboro baptist church apparently thinks that God hates fags, dykes, America, and anything else that is not 100% Christian. Someone needs to blow their fucking heads off. Ignorant cunts make me sick.
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A Baptist who is so devout in their religion they think everything is a sin, especially anything that feels good.
He is such a foot-washing baptist, makes me wander how he had children. Do you think he flogged himself afterwords?
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A micro-passive/aggressive Christian, usually White male, who uses the King James Version of the Bible to further a personal agenda. This is usually done through heated debates with other Christians, or extorting businesses by threatening a negative Yelp review if they don't give discounts on his donut ministry at the Baptist church. Most Black Belt Baptists have rapid-cycling Bipolar Disorder. They will ramble incessantly about Charismatic chaos, the NIV, the New World Order, and will get so worked up it sounds like they're speaking in tongues. During an episode, it's best to give a Black Belt Baptist a "safe" area and a soap box to express themselves.
"Mom, it's time to go. Dad's goin' Black Belt Baptist again."
A school with a snapchat filter, colour run and free dress days.
Children who attend this school is often called a 'Carey Kid'
Person: Hey are you a Carey kid?
Another person: No, what is a Carey kid?
Next person: A child who goes to Carey Baptist College
This is the most treacherous school I have seen in my 47 years of living. I sent my kids here for a year and I am already in debt 30,000 dollars. My kids are 4th graders and came home and they stink of the cafeteria and gym. Their feet especially stink band they now have fungus in between their toes. They need to do hygiene protocols. Their penny loafers are demolished after playing in the parking lot. A PARKING LOT!!! My kid almost got ran over by a mini truck. He is now traumatized and mentions it when we go to the family therapist weekly. They need to do hygiene protocols. My kids penny loafers are demolished after playing in the parking lot. A PARKING LOT!! My kid almost got ran over by a mini truck. He now mentions it when we go to the family therapist weekly. They are taught that premarital pregnancy is a sin. Me and my hunky (FIFTH) cousin/husband had our first child at 14 years old. Ever since then, we now have 7.5 kids and are living in a BEAUTIFUL trailer. So are we going to hell???? HUH?!?! DON’T SEND YOUR KIDS HERE. ZERO STARS. ZERO.
“St.John the Baptist gives your kids foot fungus and obesity.”
“I sent my kid to St. John the Baptist and are now in debt by 40,000 dollars.”
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A place where the rules are held so tightly by the staff that the kids dont even know how to live. A place where they instill fear into the students in order to keep them in their cult like ways. Where being two-faced is the standard and is taught everyday by the ones in charge. where one is taught if your mind wanders outside of the bible you are now putting yourself at risk of becoming a teenage parent whether you know what sex is or not. A place where 99% of the students want nothing but freedom. A place where once you enter, you will forever be judged by those trapped inside.BEWARE.
individual one: i wish i could...
individual two: hasnt everyone?
individual one: no. i go to Northwest Baptist Academy :(
individual two: oh, im sorry.
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When a nice Baptist girl waits until her wedding night to have sex, only to find that her hymen has solidified and her nice Baptist boy is unable to penetrate her. After the embarrassment, awkwardness, and doubt subsides, she is forced to go have a doctor surgically "pop her cherry." This concludes the Baptist First Time.
*Any form of conservative dogma that is cuckoo about premarital sex can be substituted for Baptist.
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Yo dude, your wife was a virgin, right? That's hot! How was she?"
Nice Baptist Boy: "We had a Baptist First Time. She was un-enter-able."
Nice Baptist Boy's Friend: "Ouchhhh. That's balls, man."
Nice Baptist Boy: "Yeah, the doctor got to have all the fun."
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