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This is the definition of your existence - ‘I don’t want to die; sometimes wish I’d never been born at all’
Simran: Hi guys! All well?
Jasmine: Yes, bruh. How about you, ronka?
Ronak: A little blue today; I think I have Freddie Mercury Syndrome
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Produced 1975-2011
The flagship full-size sedan of the Mercury marque for the entirety of its lifetime that remained almost completely unchanged from 1983 onward. It was the mid-level variant of the Ford panther platform, positioned between the Ford Crown Victoria (LTD) and Lincoln Town Car as a moderately upscale body-on-frame, V8 engined, six-passenger sedan. It was largely marketed toward an elderly demographic that appreciated its decidedly traditional appeal and didn't want to see it changed. Eventually, however, the generation who had kept it in production (and, realistically, the entire Mercury brand for that matter) died off and only a small but fierce band of metro hipster cucks and southern hicks remained to petition its inexorable demise.
Notable features included: genuine fake wood inserts on every single interior dash and door panel, superbly soft dual bench seats for elderly keisters, a chrome-clad three or four speed automatic transmission column-shifter for ease of usage by arthritis-afflicted hands, a capacious trunk to be used for nothing other than hauling bags of hand-crocheted doilies, and an utterly isolating suspension and power-steering system to prevent intrusion of any kind from the outside world during the weekly twenty kilometer per hour joyride to the bingo hall.
Phyllis used to own a blue '99 Mercury Grand Marquis--that is, until she backed it into the Sears display window. Her family always said that car was too much for an old woman to handle.
A badass diva bitch that loves to fuck with people, but is really a great person. Has an amazing voice, and will fuck anyone and everyone. Has a huge love for cats, and also kind extremely gay, and proud. I love him sm. He is the lead singer in a band named Queen. Has huge daddy vibes in the early 80's, and is a great song-writer. Came out of the closet without coming out. Okay he is a god! A legend, and he is MINE.
Friend: You're a fucking diva bitch.
Me: I KNEW FREDDIE FUCKING MERCURY WAS IN ME SOMEWHERE. I LOVE YOU FREDDIE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU IN HELL ONE DAY.
FREDDIE Mercury, 1984:
Interviewer: Would you like to go to heaven?
Freddie: No. Hell's much better. Look at all the interesting people you're going to meet down there!
Interviewer: *laughs*
Freddie: You're gonna be there, too, ya know.
Me: daMN
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A phenomena occuring in the music industry, in which an aspect of a band member's (usually the frontman/woman's) personality, actions, etc. becomes subject to quite a lot of debate among both fans and haters of the band. This would be perfectly alright, except for what inevitably happens is that the debate becomes so overblown that people begin to forget about the music of the band, and all they really know is the trivial feud over the aspect of the frontman/frontwoman. Named after Freddie Mercury, the frontman of the British classic rock band Queen, and Kurt Cobain, the frontman of the early '90s grunge band Nirvana.
Mercury/Cobain Effect:
Nirvana Fan 1: Courtney killed Kurt Cobain!
Nirvana Fan 2: Kurt killed himself!
Nirvana Fan 3: You're both wrong, Kurt is alive and well and hiding out in Winchestertonfieldville even as we speak!
Nirvana Fans 1 and 2: How dare you have an opinion that differs from mine, never mind the fact that it's a free country and everyone has the right to believe whatever they choose!
Nirvana fan with a brain: Guys, can't we just talk about the MUSIC instead of whether or not Kurt killed himself...?
Everyone in room but Nirvana fan with a brain: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT'S SO FRICKIN' FUNNY, YOU SHOULD BECOME A PROFESSIONAL COMEDIAN!!!!
Nirvana fan with a brain: *sigh*
* * *
Queen fan 1: Freddie Mercury was GAY!!!
Queen fan 2: No, he was bisexual!
Queen fan 3: He had a girlfriend and therefore was straight, so both of you shut up!
Queen fan 3: No, he was straight in the 1970s, but in the '80s, for some strange reason unknown to everyone on the planet, became gay!
Queen fan with a brain: Why does Freddie Mercury's orientation matter so much to you guys? He and his band made a lot of great music, and music is the whole reason we listen to Queen in the first place, so can't we just talk about the songs? You know, the whole REASON we all like Queen?
{insert awkward silence here}
Weirdo: Forget that, I think he was TRISEXUAL!!!
Queen fan with a brain: Just...just forget I said anything...*runs off and pounds head against the nearest wall in frustration*
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When your girl has her period and she still wants you to go down on her.
“Hey Chad did you and Karen have fun last night?”
“Hell yeah! I had to chew through the mercury cause it’s that time of the month!”
Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) and interferes with the body's ability to fight infections. The virus can be transmitted through contact with infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids.
You've been sick and coughing for weeks and it sounds like it's getting worse. Are you sure you don't have the Freddy Mercury Flu?
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Dickin around,
kick my AIDS round the floor
these are the dayyys it never rains men but it pours
in the bu, in the bu, in the butt.
Those should have been Under Pressure's lyrics by Freddie mercury.
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