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A derogatory term, originally coined by the infamous Sargent D (of SYWH fame), used to describe elitist metalheads who only listen to bands that are currently considered to be "hip" and "underground".
The heavy metal equivalent of hipsters. Often the first people to cry "Sell-Out!" the moment a band has success of any kind. IMNs often tend to have very few friends and/or a dead end job. They mostly stick to basement dwelling and they never EVER get invited to parties.
There are two cardinal sins among IMNs:
- Diversity: If it isn't metal it can't be any good. IMNs hate people with a broad taste in music. That means that all other forms of music i.e. Jazz, Blues, Reggae/Ska, Punk (aside from a few choice Hardcore bands), Folk, Alternative, Indie, and any other genre you can name are all forbidden. Most IMNs don't seem to realize that their favorite metal bands have very strong. non-metal influences.
- Bands They Don't Like: IMNs like to think they are the be all end all music authority whether they realize it or not. With most people, mentioning a band someone dislikes will illicit a shrug. However, mentioning or expressing like for any band they hate will earn you the ire of IMNs everywhere. Prepare to be cyberbullied by basement dwellers the world over.
Metalhead: Hey bro, have you heard the new Skeletonwitch album? It fucking rips.
Internet Metal Nerd: NO!!!!! I DON'T LISTEN TO THAT MAINSTREAM BULLSHIT! Gah!
Metalhead: Woah, calm down bro.
IMN: Those guys have totally sold out now. Everybody is buying their albums, they're getting reviews in Decibel. It's absolutely sickening. They sold out after their 4-Track demo cassette.
Metalhead: -_-
IMN: I knew Skeletonwitch before it was cool.
IMN:
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has same durability as minecraft gold axe
what do you mean my internet connection is DiScOnNeCtEd
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Person #1: What is the strongest army on the internet ?
Person #2: Greg
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In·ter·net Fuck·wad Syn·drome,
n.
An Internet disorder where the patient, while acting under the anonymity of an Internet identity, proceeds to act in a manor both disparaging and embarrassing if said individual were to conduct himself in such a way in RL.
The pathology of this disorder stems from the intoxicating effect of freedom from repercussion when violating societal values and morals anonymity can provide. With no perceived penalty for prepubescent, immature behaviour, weaker individuals lose all inhibition, and proceed to mindlessly annoy, harass, abuse, and assault their peers whilst online.
The pathology is succinctly described through John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory (Penny Arcade; "Green Blackboards (And Other Anomalies)"; 2004/03/19)
Symptoms include, but are not limited to:
·Trolling;
·Posting irreverent, shallow criticisms or comments on YouTube;
·Arguing with an admin on any site;
·Liberally using racial slurs;
·Backing up the use of racial slurs with equally racist rationalizations;
·Creating and distributing Spam; and
·Being a minor on the Internet.
Treatment requires an immediate intervention and disconnection from any Internet feed, as this is the sole vector of Internet pathogens, including text forms, and send buttons.
Abbreviated by the initialism (IFS), and also known as Anonymous Asshat Syndrome (AAS)
Dude, I was watching a pretty awesome video online, and some asshat has to comment, "this is the greatest piece of shite since your mother brought you into this world". What an asshole; if he/she flew their mouth off like that in the real world, they would be eating people's fists regularly. I pity these losers; they suffer from Internet Fuckwad Syndrome.
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a dissociative state one goes into after mindlessly clicking links on the internet for so long that you are now entranced by and unable to break free from the internet's seemingly endless amount of related information.
oh, wow, i'm glad you called. i've been in this internet k-hole for three hours now.
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Someone who constantly talks about how bad and "hardcore" they are over the connected phone lines called the internet. These people usually frequent chat rooms and online forums for the sole purpose of shit talking and gloating to complete strangers to fill the void in their life, something that dosen't impress someone in the REAL WORLD. They also like to troll areas in chat and forums that contain such topics as: Martial Arts, Boxing, Fighting, Excercise, Weight Lifting, Wrestling etc. so they can compete with other lifeless internet whores for the sole purpose of determining who is the biggest nerd of them all. These people talk about how much ass they kick and how they could take on the world single handedly, when in reality, quiver at such ideas of someone who dosen't like them finding them in their parents basement where they thought they were safe. Internet Tough Guys should be regarded as the lowest form of life on Earth. 99% of the time they are liars, who will make completely bogus claims of being 7 feet tall, 400 pounds of pure muscle, and bench 700. Often they have bullshit stories to accompany such shitty claims like "I've wrestled a bear and a lion at the same time, and I kicked both of their asses with ease!" or "I'm a pro boxer who beat Mike Tyson in a backyard brawl with no gloves!" They often reply with sayings such as "fuck you", "i'll kick you ass", "your luckee that i cant get you", and the ever popular "where do you live and ill beat you ass". All threats by Internet Tough Guys should be promply backed up with "Try it with a nerd who buys into your tough guy bullshit".
muscleman1596732: i bet joo wont say that to my face!
muscleman1596732: ill kick your ass where do you live!!
muscleman1596732: i can take teh world on!!11
muscleman1596732: i kicked tysons ass and i no i can kick yers!!!111
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Usually known by the acronym SIF, a secret internet fatty posts photographs of themselves on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise their obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of:
- close-up head or face shots
- extremely high or overhead camera angles
- low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation.
Women often show cleavage, or employ boobnosis, as a secondary deception.
Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the SIF in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess fat. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot.
(In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said?
Secret internet fatties come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "BBW". Star Jones is their poster child).
To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise.
To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"
>>>>>
SexyLexie is a self-proclaimed "MySpace hottie" but Kip Dynamite wants a full body shot to prove she's not just another secret internet fatty with delusions of grandeur.
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