A cat is like a ninja in a disguise they fly across your room quietly and fast, claws like swords that can attack if you don’t feed them in time, at night they are monsters that tries to break into your room
Person 1: meow
Person 2: what are you, a cat?
Person 1: indeed
Warren: "You know I saw Jeff at Steve's Place the other night."
Rick: "I can't stand that cat, man.
Fred: "Word, man. That cat is always trying to play us like fools."
Tiny evil demon that happens to be SO. FUCKING. ADORABLE}.
My cat is evil, it just scratched up my couch!
Asian: Did you cut up the cat and cook them in the dim sums, with the dogs
A demon in feline form which has successfully hacked natural selection by manipulating the dominant species. The most prevalent and destructive invasive species known to man, cats wreak havoc on songbird populations, ruin indoor air quality and kill humans with Toxoplasmosis and Bartonella infections worldwide. Prolonged exposure to their Toxoplasma bacteria will cause humans to lose their will and become cat thralls over time.
"My cat clawed my daughter's face off yesterday. It was her fault for moving so suddenly and thankfully the cat is ok."
- a cat thrall