portland east

portland east refers to portland, maine. while portland, west refers to portland, oregon. Ptown in Maine is going through a pretty cool scene right now, i.e. a lot of underground stuff. It's pretty sweet. If you ever find yourself in Portland East check out the old port. there's a lot of sick shops and places to get grub. tons of interesting people down here too. you get the idea.

Portland East is my hometown, and by far the best town.

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Portland Straight

The sexuality of a man who is attracted to women and women who claim to be nonbinary people.

Man 1: "I'm also into nonbinary people like Demi Lovato, so I guess I'm kind of queer."
Man 2: "So you're portland straight?"

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portland throwdown

A challenge to fight where the increasing severity of the challenger's verbal threats are directly proportional to the increasing distance from their opponent. This type of challenge is typical of the passive-aggressive culture in Portland, Oregon, where a real fight is less likely to break out compared to other, harder cities in the United States.

Bouncer: "Sorry , you can't come in tonight, you've had too much to drink."
Drunk (face to face): "C'mon , my friends are in there/I'm not that drunk/it's my birthday/I come here all the time!"
Bouncer: Sorry, you're welcome to come back tomorrow, but not tonight."
Drunk (5ft. away): "This place sucks anyway."
Bouncer: ...
Drunk (10ft. away): "Man, you a bitch!"
Bouncer: "Ok, have a good night, get home safe."
Drunk (15ft. away) "I'll beat your ass, bitch!"
Bouncer: "Just go home dude..."
Drunk (Halfway down the block) "Try me motherfucker! I'll kick your faggot ass!"
Bouncer: "Ok, now you're 86'ed.."
Drunk (One block away, shirtless and flexing) "I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!"
Bouncer: "...he's literally now one city block away from me."
Passer-by from out of town: "Wow, that was the most Portland-y attempt to throw down I've ever seen."
Bouncer: "Yup, that's exactly how a Portland Throwdown works. See? Now he's almost two blocks away and yelling louder. If we were in Boston he would have just decked me."

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Portland Assdriver

This sexual act is very similar to the Portland Piledriver but instead of her cunt taking the beating, it’s her ass.

It begins by positioning a chick with has her ass straight up in the air with only the back of her head and neck touching the floor. She can be held in position by a couch or small table. A more flexible & talented ho can use the back of her arms and elbows to get her ass in the right position.

A dude then stands over the chick, spits on her butthole, aims his cock straight down with his right hand, and drives it with much force into her ass. Then the cock is completely pulled out and the process is repeated.

I knew she liked it in the ass but I had no idea she would take the Portland Assdriver. Dumb ho.

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Portland gangbang

Any group of hipsters hanging out together numbering four or more.

(1) The dance floor at the Class Actress show was vacant, save for a modest Portland gangbang.

(2) I wanted to check out the new jeans at Urban Outfitters today, but the women's section was a total Portland gangbang.

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Portland Kiss

When a woman places her vagina on a man or another woman and that said person gives them oral sex.

Guy 1: Dude I had a crazy night at a stripper club...she totally gave me a Portland Kiss.
Guy 2: EWW GROSS
Guy 1: Ya I have an appointment to get checked out for all std's...fingers crossed.
Guy 2: My prayers are with you man.

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Portland Backwater

The cum, semen, and other mysterious liquids dripping out of the female's anus after anal sex.

Dude, After We were done messing around she had serious backwater.

Oh my gosh Jared!! You cum way tooo much!!! Last night, I had sooo much Portland Backwater when you were done.

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