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A term used for somebody who is quite intoxicated, typically with beverages such as Greene King IPA. Used by Alexander Robertson in the group UK Simpsons II, when asking for Simpsons episodes. Although roasted for his post originally, he then became internet famous thanks to the group and in other social media after featuring in a BuzzFeed post.
Eric: Man, we're quite drunk, aren't we?
Nick: Nah mate, we've been on the IPA lad. That means that we're in fact absolutely wasted!
The waitress who serves me in my local cafe suffers from absolute-slowness. It is usually characterised by having a big pale ugly face, no manners or respect and the general demeanour of having taken 67 valiums and a few bottles of vodka.
It should also be noted that those affected tend to move in slow motion so do not be alarmed this is normal as they are out of sync with our time-frame.
Customer 1: "Hello, I'd like a some soup please."
Waitress 1: "Ok it'll just be a second"
*goes away and grows the vegetables and grain and slaughters the cow herself*
Customer 1: "What the hell's up with the Absolute-slowness today!!"
Besides the scientic connatations of this word there is also Aetheric & Esoteric meanings of this.
1. Everything usually has a point of origin which begins from 0 dimension its Aether (smoke/shadow) which must connect several different points 2 b whole in 3rd dimension. If they r whole they r classified as +or- (good or bad). However, if 1 has been somehow disconnected from themselves by way of hypnosis or trauma, they actually have no boundaries unlike the masters who slaved them. They r keepers of blue flame. & as soon as they realize who they r can b capable of miraculous & terrible things! Bcuz they r shadows of themselves & exisist soley of the light, they r formitable weapons against all SET authorities.
2. Those who r underestimated due 2 their indifference & percieved weaknesses by all who encounter them. They r those who hide in the shadows broken, the unnamed, monarchs, berzerkers, wintersoldiers & any1 being secretly controlled by some1 else. They r actually stronger than their masters who hold them captive! A they need 2 do is acquire the key 2 the kingdom... FORGIVENESS! End game.
Ive seen many absolute zeros who had powers they had no ability 2 wield without forgiveness.
Absolute zeros will b the vanquishers of the masters bcuz it was written.
Never choose a side
Its ok 2 run away 2 hide
Never burn 2 hot
& never b so cold u forgot
4 the time will come
When mAsters will b judged 4 all they done
& those who nobody even knows
Will arise & b like superheros
Once underestimated outcasts that every1 woes
Will vanquish evil from inside cuz they r absolute zeros!
It is finished
John michael is an absolute pussy, he didnt even wanna throw hands
A person who is an absolute, also Gimp can be pronounced "Gump"
Why won't you lend me you shit pants? you absolute gimp
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Girl: Wow, did you see Emily Morin today?
Guy: yes she is absolutely perfect🤩❤️
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The penultimate form of shambles (which could be foreseen by any five year old), caused by the ineptitude of so-called management failing to understand how the job is really done. Sacking all the administrative staff at once will result in an absolute shambles.
The management team thought it was an excellent idea to sack everyone in the administrative grade: "look how much money we will save, aren't we such clever boys and girls!"
The result was of course an absolute shambles because no real work could be done. It was a far bigger shambles than had been created in the past.
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