absolutely

The one word that will get your boss / parent / authority figure to give you the "deer in headlights" look and leave you alone. Regardless of what is being discussed; i.e. 1)drawn out over explained instructions on how to do a simple task 2) Typical Parental Lecture 3)"Do You Know Why I Pulled You Over?" situations.

Instructions On Use: Step One - Wait For Pause In
Assailents Ranting
Step Two - Make Convincing And Direct
Eye Contact
Step Three - Say "Absolutely Boss, Dad
, Officer, Etc."
Step Four - Walk Away And Proceed Going
About Your Business

BOSS: "Hey (your name) Im glad I found you. Look Ive got a
bit of a situation. You see Tim was sick today, and
that means that his typical collateral duties of
emptying the trash in the managers office hasnt
been completed. I know you know how big an issue
this is. I mean wow if I could just get you to..."

YOU: "Absolutely" (remember to lock eyes and put on your
best "Im not stupid" face)

BOSS: .............

YOU: (proceed to carry on about your business as if nothing
happened)

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absolutely

An interjection indicating affirmation in the extreme. Even more extreme than "sure," much more than "yup," and a world away from "uh huh." Used primarily to bullshit people into thinking you agree with something they said and that, of all people, you know what they're talking about. The former may or may not be true, but the latter seldom is.

Glenn Beck: We've already proven that Barack Obama's birth certificate was printed in 2005 at a Kinko's in Alexandria Virginia, which proves he's a Kenyan Muslim socialist. You know what I mean?

Teabagger: Absolutely! See you at the march!

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absolutely

To do something with a furious intensity.

I absolutely ate potato chips last night instead of a real dinner.

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Absolute

Something only a Sith deals in.

"If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."

"Only a Sith deals in absolutes"

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Absolut

A brand of vodka made popular with a witty marketing campaign.

Six shots of Absolut and I fell off my barstool.

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Absolute

When you put absolute before an insult, you make its career ending abilities 10x stronger by making the victim feel dumb.

Without:

Guy 1: What’s 3 times 4?
Guy2: I’m not answering that you dunce!
Guy 1: :(

With:

Guy 1: what’s 3 times 4?
Guy 2: I’m not answering that you absolute dunce!
Guy 1: I don’t feel so good D:

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absolution

Third album by the British band MUSE considered by many to be their best. Considered by others to be highly overrated. Still one hell of an album.

I just bought Absolution.

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