Weasel Cat

It is the apex predator of Arvada, Colorado. It has the strength of ten raccoons, the length of a vespa scooter, the height of a fire hydrants, and the eyes of a demon long dead (just red). It is rarer than big foot, chupacabra, and an affordable housing with a view of the mountains.

"Bro, I just saw the Weasel Cat by 72nd and Wadsworth"

parking weasel

A city employee whose only function is to generate revenue for the city by handing out parking tickets for such ridiculous offenses as "not turning your wheels to the curb when parked on a hill", "no front license plate", or "meter violations when you haven't stepped out of your car yet to feed the meter".

They are often seen hovering around "no parking after 5PM" zones at 4:57PM.

Attention party guests, if you parked on the hill, please make sure you turned your wheels to the curb, we have a bad problem with parking weasels.

Shipping Weasel

Someone who sells on Ebay but always charges waaaaay too much for shipping because that's how they make their profits without having to pay Ebay so much.

I nearly bought a replacement Ipod on Ebay the other day but the shipping weasel wanted $45 to send it.

whacking the weasel

masterbating

Jimmy won't stop whacking his weasel..kid was in the bathroom 4 hours yesterday.

46👍 7👎

bitch weasel

1) One of those sneaky, tacky, trampy chicks in a bar that get guys to buy them drinks and then ignore the guy for the rest of the night.
2) A chick who uses guys for material gain

1) That poor guy over there get rolled by a nasty bitch monkey in fake Prada- he bought her whole group a round and then they left!
2) My friend's sister is dating a super rich old guy who buys her stuff all the time- she's such a bitch weasel.

13👍 1👎

Pen Weasel

A pen weasel is the asshole in your office that somehow accumlates everyones good writing pens. This person neve every buys a pen they always steal them.

Hey where the fuck did my pen go? My mom bought me a really good one for Christmas. Hey man just check the pen weasel I bet that asshat has it.

18👍 2👎

Squeeze The Weasel

Action Phrase: Masturbation, squeezing of the male genetalia.

Sometimes i get so hot i just gotta squeeze the weasel.

See Also: Squeeze the Cheetos

27👍 4👎