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A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories.
It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses.
Crimean war: France were the first into sevastopol, and Russia surrendered to Paris.
American war of Independance: Cornwallis surrendered his sword to Rochambeau, who politely declined.
Hundred years war: England's early gained ground was taken back in an equal amount of time for it to be taken, and the land that England rightly owned was also taken by 1556.
1066: Superior tactics see France conquer England, and later wales under the Normans and Plantagenets.
Napoleon: Napoleon was indeed French born (not on the mainland though) and domiciled, although his parents were Italian. Accomplished more than Hitler in terms of European domination.
Indo-China: France re-establishes control in a few months, although kills millions of rebels. the United States tres the same and ends up hitting jack shit for fourteen years while seeing 50,000 soldiers die fromt he united states alone (ignoring other countries0. France's army, which was actually a coalition of other nations led by france loses 90,000.
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Such a thing has never happens, and never will. France may be beutifull but the french people are a bunch of pussies.
The french planted treats on the great avenues of the city of paris so the invading armies marched in the shade
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1. Mythological event who's existance in modern thinking is correctly ridiculed by those that maintain a belief in the existance of same.
2. Send in the Americans
3. The French Foreign Legion is only as good as it's worst German trooper.
In order to insure a French Military Victory, send in the Americans.
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Something which never happens while an army is comprised of a French majority and led by a Frenchman
Napoleon, Joan of Arc, William, The French Foreign Legion, American generals: None of these are Frenchmen
Charlemagne, Martel, Guye: None of these men commanded armies made up of over 40% Frenchmen
These do not count as French Military Victories
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The French version of Martin Luther King Jr.'s, "I Have a Dream," speech.
Please refer to French Military Defeats for further clarification.
French military victories are impossible with a country full of cheese-eating, snail-breathed, no-hygiene, surrender-monkeys.
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Mere fairytales told by the french to create the illusion that their people are capable of defending themselves. The term "fairy" is not used lightly seing as France is the topic of this posting, and it seems rather appropriate when describing them.
The french told their children of the "french military victories" to keep them from following the usual plan of action (sob, hide, run, cry to the US).
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A poop that has some stringy, onion like substance, but mostly consists of cloudy brown squirts. Often burns upon exit and could also be described as fire booty.
After a long night of drinking, jeff went to a taco truck and got a burrito to try and sober up. About 20 minutes later he charged into the bathroom to cook up a nice bowl of french onion poop.
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