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Jesus

Jesus, also referred to as Jesus of Nazareth or Jesus Christ, was a first-century Jewish preacher and religious leader. He is the central figure of Christianity. He is amazing, and he died for all our sins.

Dan: "Mate! Jesus saved me!"
Matt: "Mate that's awesome!"
Dan: "Yeah mate, he's the best."

by Jimmyjelly150 August 3, 2020

1๐Ÿ‘ 11๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus tit

Expression similar to "what the fuck!" often used in poker tournaments and the whatnot

"Jesus tit, will you please pay attention and not be such a dickneck."

by Cunty Spice July 29, 2006

9๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus and Trump

The Commander in Chief and the Commander in Cheat; the Anointed One by God the Father and the QAnon-ed one by alt-right voters; the Alpha and the Omega, and the rejected and the ejected; and the others-centered and the me-centered.

Comparing Jesus and Trump is like comparing heaven and hell, or forgiveness and vindictiveness.

by MathPlus April 7, 2021

70๐Ÿ‘ 112๐Ÿ‘Ž


Kiss the Jesus

Catholic Church code phrase used by Priests whilst in the confessional instructing the unwary confessee to "Kiss the Jesus." This is always accompanied by the sound of a zipper coming down in a rapid manner and a loud, "BOING-ing" sound as the erect penis of the Priest, at the sight of a ten year old boy, pops out of his Cassock.

Gerald, Ten Year Old Boy: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."

Catholic Priest: "Say five Our Fathers and One Hail Mary and KISS THE JESUS."

<zip, BOING, followed by smooching noises>

by T&E August 16, 2005

20๐Ÿ‘ 26๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus freak

jay carb.

no more needs to be said.

good god, if i have to hear one more thing about how his life is a walk with god from that jesus freak jay carb, i might just die!

by hmmmm... May 5, 2005

42๐Ÿ‘ 63๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

A word I say when I can't find my TV remote.

"Jesus Christ, where the hell is my damn TV remote?"

by Dr. Krabs September 3, 2009

44๐Ÿ‘ 27๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus juice

my delicious strawberry nesquik.

chocolate and other flavors are gay.

like your mom

fuck im out of jesus juice, MOM GET IN THE CAR WERE GOING SHOPPING!
me: *buys all the jesus juice in the store*

by Ranger_Roy April 3, 2018

17๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž