A.M. Lumber

When one wakes up with an erection.

So I slept in the same bed as my mom last night...it was really awkward because I woke up with A.M. Lumber.

11👍 1👎

Mayham-in-the-A.M.

When midnight shift workers proceed to go to the bar and getting completly wasted after their shift ends instead of going home and going to sleep.

Charles: Dude tonight has sucked we should totally arrange some mayham-in-the-A.M.
Twon: For sure, this night has been a complete bag of ass.

28👍 6👎

a.m. stripper

a low-grade exotic dancer, usually not the most attractive dancer in the establishment, who performs for the hung-over, non-tipping patrons during morning hours.

The burnt-out, stretch-marked alcoholic can barely afford her skanky clothes with the meager wages of her a.m. stripper job.

17👍 3👎

A.M.-B.M.

(From the Latin) Ante Meridiem-Bowel Movement.
When you go #2 in the morning.

Hey guys, sorry I'll be late for breakfast, but I'm not worth a damn until i have my A.M.-B.M. See you in 8 minutes!

21👍 7👎

skip the a.m.

sleeping for such a long time that you miss the a.m. of an entire day.

Fred planned to skip the a.m. and succeeded when he fell asleep at 11 p.m. and woke up at 1 p.m. the next day.

A.M. logic

Plans for your day that ONLY make sense because you aren't ready to get outta bed.

*Alarm clock buzzes at 7am*

Head voice: "I got an 8:00am meeting, but its raining out so no one will show up 'til 8:30 anyway."

*Alarm goes off at 7am*

Head voice: "If I skip the gym this morning I can squeeze it in tonight after monday night football."

I thought I could sleep in yet get to work on time if I dressed down and skipped breakfast. A.M. logic is dangerous.

a.m. drain

A remedy for morning wood. In the a.m. drain the female partner typically does not climax. Rather she is a willing and generous participant. Typically she would not have been able to climax that morning anyhow. Best case scenario - occurs while spooning so woman does not have to move from the position in which she was sleeping.

Outcome: Male is satisfied and extremely appreciative. Woman has gained massive amounts of goodwill with minimal effort.

"Honey, thanks for the a.m. drain. Can I take you out to dinner tonight as a thank you?"

"Yeah, I wasn't much in the mood this morning, but he was. Has an a.m. drain. Now I'm off the hook for a while..."