Terry Waite's allotment

see ambush

I got totally ambushed, she was groomed like Terry Waite's allotment.

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Dig my allotment

Get aggressively railed

Hmm I’d let him dig my allotment - I want him to rail me

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Allotment

Mostly made up of old people that smell like cabbage and think they are more important than politicians.

I'm just going down the Allotment so I can piss the locals off and moan about the younger generation.

Spiritual Allotment

A prosaic name for the toilet.
Men who don't have access to a private outdoor space will often repair to the WC for a bit of peace and quiet.

Woman: You were in the toilet a long time. Are you constipated again?
Man: No I just needed to spend some time on my spiritual allotment.
Woman (mutters under breath): That's why it smells like manure in there then.