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A sexist and degrading way of telling someone to calm down. Effective because it silences the addressee by invoking their fear of appearing like a hysterical female.
Wife: "I can't believe you would quit your job and not even tell me about it!"
Husband: "Calm your tits. If you ever had a job, you would understand."
Boyfriend: "I just don't want to have children unless we're married."
Girlfriend: "Calm your tits. You sound like my mom."
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A term that is used towards someone who is being overdramatic or too enthusiastic about a simple topic or matter.
Dan: "Matt your swing is awful! Your only swinging with your arms, you have to shift your weight more" Matt: "Dan, calm your tits"
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Someone has become so angry that it's becoming out of control, they're impossible to calm down. So, one says they should "calm their tits".
Tammy: You know what I really think of you?
Jon: What?
Tammy: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU UGLY, ATROCIOUS, ROTTEN, DECOMPOSING, NASTY, MENSTRUAL RAG!! YOU SUCK BITCH!!! YOU SUCK!!!! GO TO HELL AND BECOME THE DEVIL'S PLAY TOY!!! GO GET MUTILATED AND EATEN ALIVE AFTERWARDS YOU FUCKING BUM!!! YOU FUCKING SLUMLORD!!! EAT MY SHIT AND SUFFOCATE IN MY ASSHOLE!!!!!
Jon: Calm your tits already, Jesus!
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Something you say when your girl is getting a little too excited/anxious/nervous/etc.
Variation of "Smooth your boobs" "give your chest a rest" "adjust your bust before you combust" "hakuna yo tatas".
Mindy: I can't believe you were flirting with Cindy! We're DATING Tom! Where is your LOYALTY?! How am I supposed to raise our unborn child?!
Tom: Wait... We have a child?
Mindy: That's besides the point. WHY WERE YOU LEADING HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM?! IN MY OWN HOUSE?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!
Tom: Calm your tits, Mindy, Cindy's my cousin. Besides, you've banged Cindy, Sandy, Quinn, and Nate before.
Mindy: *walks away muttering* Well, so have you...
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What Shannon says when she's at the end of her rope.
Shannon: Blake stop texting me so much. Calm your tits man.
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To tell a person to call down and/or relax.
"Dude I can't find my car keys anywhere!"
"Bro, calm yo tits!"
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When a person have their pms you tell them to calm youre tits to make sure it's all good. It's the cock blocker of periods.
Hey franco calm you're tits. Says Carlos
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