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Darwin Clause is a mythical creature who delivers compressed carbon to all the little atheist boys and girls on sciencemas
Niel: Darwin Claus evolved down the chimney last night. He drank all the primordial soup and ate all the naturally selected cookies!
30👍 1👎
a rich & evil person taking care of the poor and needy not because it's good for them but because it's good for his own will.
Pablo Escobar was South America's Penta Claus for all seasons
Satan claus is the true villian behind XXXmas. He delivers grief and pain to all the bad little boys and girls. He’ll burn down houses and make it look like it was the christmas lights. It was his reindeer that ran over grandma. He’ll shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds. Do not try to start a raging inferno fire in the fireplace to keep him out, because he likes it hot. Close the flu and board up the chimney, ‘cause Satan Claus is on his way.
The Xmas song:
He knows when your are sleeping,
He knows when you're on the can,
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
You better not breathe, you better not move,
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!
Bad little boy: Do I hear hooves on the roof?
Dad: Get the shotgun, it’s Satan Claus!
Satan: Come here little boy, you're on my list! You've been very naughty! Ho-Ho-Ho!
177👍 25👎
A subordinate Claus is an understudy for Santa Claus.
Jerry, one of the elves, was promoted to a subordinate Claus.
19👍 1👎
You either know what Puntus Claus is or you don't. If you're here then...
Puntus Claus is like Santa Claus, but instead of giving out Santas on Christmas, he gives out Puntus.
The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.
Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.
Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.
--- Christmas morning 1985 ---
Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.
Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.
Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!
--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---
Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?
Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.
Santa Claus: I'm sorry.
Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.
1945👍 443👎
A woman dressed in a Santa suit.
Michael Scott: Don't go over there with Tranny Claus. Come sit on my lap.
15👍 1👎