sleeping condiments

Anything you sleep with or need to get to sleep. i.e.: Pillows, blankets, lingerie, teddy bears, blow up dolls, or blow up mattresses.

Don't forget to bring your sleeping condiments when you come for the fourth.

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Condimental Divide

When you and your romantic partner, spouse, family member, or friend share opposing, strong opinions about a specific condiment, such as ketchup/catsup or mayonnaise.
-As coined by Mark Garrison on the podcast "The Sporkful".

Person 1: "You like Miracle Whip? Gross!"
Person 2: "No, mayo is gross; Miracle Whip is good."
Person 1: "We can't hang out anymore. I can't get over the Condimental Divide."

Person 1: "I dumped my girlfriend because she put ketchup on her hot dog. That's just WRONG!"
Person 2: "Another relationship destroyed by the Condimental Divide."

condimental drift

The slow but steady movement of all available condiments whereby they all come to rest in front of one person at the table

Sis: Dad, why did the mustard, relish, horseradish, and barbecue sauce all end up in front of you?

Me: Haven't you ever heard of "condimental drift"?

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condiment whore

This is someone who comes to the drive through window and asks for more of everything that is free, such as more plasticware, paper plates, ketchup, dipping sauces, salt, pepper, honey, butter, and anything else that is generally given out for free.

Crazed Asian Women: "I want more honey, plates, forks, spoons and napkins."
KFC Worker 1: "OK, but I don't know why you need all that, all you ordered was a small mash potatoes."
Crazed Asain Women: "Just give it to me"
KFC Worker 1 to KFC Worker 2: "Dude she was a condiment whore"

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condiment hair

A reference to Hayley Williams' hair,describing the red/orange/yellow coloring of her hair. The red color,introduced in the video for Pressure.Then later a second video appearence in Misery Business. Bumble&Bumble powder was used to get the most vibrancy in the mix of red and orange. While performing on Warped Tour all summer Williams' hair faded to a bleached-looking yellow.
She later began coloring it many combos of orange,yellow,and red,as it constantly needed re-dyed.

person 1:"Did you see Hayley's new condiment hair?"
person 2:"Yes, it looks like ketchup and mustard have had a child!"

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Condiment plasma

Thin watery condiment-colored fluid that accumulates on the top of ketchup or mustard. Also known as pre-mustard or pre-ketchup.
Related to condiment serum.

I made a killer ham sandwich yesterday only to ruin it with a load of condiment plasma from the mustard all over the bread.

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Pre-condiment

The clear liquid that comes out of the bottle ahead of the ketchup or mustard.

I shot a big load of pre-condiment all over that burger.

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