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A genre of music that haunts many souls. If you live in the Southern part of the United States and hate the genre, you are pretty much asking for death.
Northern Person 1: I guess its your turn to choose the music for the car trip.
Southern Person 2: Okay, I know exactly what to put on! *Turns on a Country Music Playlist, and Big Green Tractor begins playing*
Northern Person 1: *Crashes car due to the horrible music blaring through the speakers.*
A form of music in which the words can be understood, any instrument is game, writing talent is critical, and every song doesn't have to be about horny depressed teenagers singing one or two lines over and over.
Songs about life. Check out some Johnny Cash lyrics if you're still confused.
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a type of music that typically sounds absolutely terrible but somehow has really amazing lyrics
with the exception of taylor swift, she’s amazing
“gravy, please stop infecting my showtunes with your country music.”
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Music that was once pretty respectable. Nowadays, it's been hijacked by rednecks singing about trucks, God, small town farms, and how America can do no wrong.
Country music's quality declined in reverse proportion to it's rise in mainstream popularity.
Compare good acts such as The Statler Brothers and Johnny Cash to modern acts such as Toby Keith and Trailer Park Choir.
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Country music evolved from folk ballads brought to America by immigrants.It was decent music until asshole record company execs and producers in Nashville, Tennessee (wanting all the money without having to have talent)started pushing the"Nashville sound"akaNashville Clowns in the late 50s and continuing till today.Now all country songs are written by a formula.Whats selling,What topic is hot at the moment etc.. Country acts of today are told how to dress,act ,talk,what their background is ,if they are gonna be outlaws or good guys(stolen from wrestling promotors.also see:Retards)and what companies products to be seen wearing,eating,drinking and wiping their ass with.Most country stars of today are gleened from Kareoke bars and lounges.Most are from the midwest or east coast but company excecs change their point of origin to Oklahoma,Texas or Tennessee.Most "Stars" of today do not write their own material,they purchase the rights to say they have written it.(Travis Tritt)Pose with Harleys and try to act like outlaws(Toby Keith.Although he had to be pulled on a trailer sitting on a bike for his vid after dropping the bike several times and having to receive medical attention to get his head removed from his ass).Most acts of today are a sad lot of record company flunkies listened to by plastic people who buy into their bullshit swaggering and studio player albums(watch their road bands who are paid next to nothing screw up every lick out live)(I dont blame them).The modern day fanbase for these "Stars" of today are a fickle bunch(fame IS fleeting)and the commercial lifespan for these people is short indeed.Most end up broke,without their songs or right to even sing them in public anymore within a year or less.But dont feel sorry for them.They sold out and perpetuated the machine.If they hadnt sold out and wouldve told the record execs to write their own songs, modern country may have stood a chance.Listen to Old(late 60s-late 70s) Waylon,Willie,David Allan Coe,Billy Joe Shaver for a taste of country music unspoiled by the "Nashville Clowns"
New Country Fan "Isnt that Toby Keith such a Outlaw"
Real Country Fan"Compared to a 14 year old girl he may be a Badass,but I really doubt it"
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an unbearably irritating form of music that uses the same twangy gee-tar and awful wavering voice to sing about a very short list of topics such as: cheating spouse, alcoholics drinking to excess, pickup trucks, bein' a good-ol-boy, not havin' any a them-thar teeth and screwin' horses. this form of music is generally played at hoot n' annies, box socials, barn dances and every store north of georgia that douche bags go to buy cowboy hats even though they have no legitimate need for them. in order for a person to get any kind of enjoyment out of country music, however minimal, one must fall under one or more of the following categories: white women, having unnatural love for cheap beer, owning a yard full of garbage, 3 or more missing teeth, having a lip full of chewing tobacco, attenders of singles' mingles/family reunions, anyone that owns a tractor and thinks that it automatically makes them a cowboy. the more of these criteria met, the bigger the country music fan you are.
bumpkin: YEEEEEHAWWW! hey y'all wanna have a lissen ta my new garth brooks country music see-dee?
yankee: no thanks, i enjoy having a normal intelligence level.
bumpkin: you got a real purdy mouth boy. mmm...
yankee: excuse me?
bumpkin: ain't no body gonna hear you squeal piggy! YEEEEEHAWWW!!!
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Losers who ride the band wagon, often listen to this filth. Luke Bryan is a herb with two first names. Nobody likes this music, they just go to concerts to see "wanna be" country girls who usually dress in sexy flannels and boots.
Girl 1: hey girls, do you like Country Music? lets go to a country concert and pretend we are tailgating. We probably won't get with any dudes there though because most guys who go to these concerts are gay.
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