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The "Cape Cod of the South," the Eastern Shore consists of several historic counties along the Chesapeake Bay that offer a variety of cultural, recreational and relaxing opportunities. Property investors predict it will become the new Nantucket within the decade.
Person 1: So where are you spending your summer?
Person 2: Our new house on Maryland's Eastern Shore...Nantucket is so last year.
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Living on the Eastern Shore of Maryland living life all while being a fully functional alcoholic. But hey we don't do drugs (weed is not a drug ).
Having some cocktails at night. Waking up going in and working hard. Repeat until the weekend where you continue to day drink.
1) Nah man I am still Eastern Shore Sober. I only had 10 , tenies(10 oz bud lights found only in MD) so I am good to go for a country ride.
A large jacked up truck (could be Chevy, Ford or Dodge) that young teenagers to middle aged rednecks think are Ferraris.
You can spot these by the trucks being jacked up way higher than they need to be (these pieces of shit can't get out of their own way, much less drive over another vehicle like the owners claim they can), they have loud exhaust that is so loud and raunchy, you would think it was the sound of a Chevy and a Ford fuckin a Harley Davidson in the asshole. This is due to glass packs usually, because they need the motor to sound tougher than a 302, 305 or the shitty V6 most of them have.
You can also spot these misguided idiots spinning wheels in the rain, because they don't do much any other time.
You can typically outrun these vehicles with something as fast as a 94 or up Corolla. The only reason most win a race is because they floor the gas next to you and the loud exhaust sounds so horrible and redneckish, it jolts your brain with visions of sisters screwin brothers, people with teeth missing, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the assrape scene from the movie "Deliverance".
The F40 of these tirds are the ones that backfire like a shotgun. This results in making the other owners of these vehicles very aroused!
The ones that have neon lights inside or out and have the gay L.E.D. strip on the bumper are motherfuckin Enzos!!
Person 1: My truck could run over your little Civic!
Person 2: That Eastern Shore Ferrari? Be realistic, it could only run over curbs and deer!
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Pretty much the definition of REDNECK!
The most un-diverse place I have ever been. There is nothing to do and nothing ever happens. I think one there has been one shooting in the past year (not counting deer, of course). The nearest mall is 45 minutes (plus) away, and that is in Annapolis.
The guys are ugly and the girls are pretty...pretty bitchy! Most people are hyperactive and don't know how to chill. It's the exact opposite of Annapolis.
The Shore is mostly white. Occasionally, you will meet a cool black person, but the few black people that reside there act white in majority; or an occasional white person who thinks they are a gangster but just end up making themselves look like a square and get shot when they visit any major city. There is no ghetto, no projects.
You know you're on the Shore when...
-Your phone book for three counties (yellow and white pages) is no more than one and a half inches. No lie.
-Gigantic tractor things chase you on the road.
-You see trucks with twelve-inch lifts randomly pulled over on the grass...yup, it's deer hunting season.
-Your school colors are John Deere green and yellow.
-Nobody knows what "Naptown" is, even though they're a half hour away from it! People are totally oblivious.
-Carharts and Mossy Oak camo is everywhere (jackets, full suits, hats, pants...).
-People bring "deer jerky" on the bus for breakfast.
-As soon as school lets out, you hear duck and goose calls coming from all directions.
-Boys clip fish hooks onto their hats.
-In school, a letter was sent home to remind boys to empty the pockets of their hunting jackets. Because a bullet was found on the school floor.
-Whenever you pass a deer, someone yells, "That there is a 12-point buck!"
-You smell cow shit everywhere you go.
-You have a cornfield in your backyard.
-People have no sense of style and no one is creative and everyone just copies each other. Most "Shorers" think they know everything but really they're stupid! And everyone who is anyone just wants to get the fuck out but they are obligated to live there or too young to move. Everybody else is just totally oblivious and off in their own gay happy queer land and they think it's the coolest place ever, but they wouldn't survive a day in Anne Arundel County, let alone DC, B-More, or any other major city.
I'm telling you, don't move there. And if you already live there, party hard and get the fuck out, ay-sap.
Maryland's Eastern Shore is gay.
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