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1. Fuckin' Illinois Bastard
2. Annoying individual from Metro Chicago who thinks they're the salt of the earth and everyone who lives in a city of less than 100,000 should bow down and thank them for their presence. These obnoxious folks can be identified by their nasal voices and huge-ass SUVs (usually towing a 100 ft long trailer full of snowmobiles to northern Wisconsin)
3. Dumb individual from Metro Chicago who would pay fortune for something that is actually worth a quarter of what they actually paid.
4. Jerk from Chicago who has the illusion that Northern Wisconsin would not exist without their tourist dollars.
5. Outdoorsman poser who thinks "roughing it" means sleeping in a $30,000 camper.
6. Clown from Metro Chicago who complains endlessly that "It's better in Chicago" after retiring to Northern Wisconsin.
I don't want to go to the bar tonight. It's Labor Day weekend and the bar will be full of obnoxious FIBs.
Shop Owner: Heh Heh! I could put a coat of glazing over a pile of dogshit and some FIB would probably pay $100 for it as long as I stamp Made In Cheeseland on it. Hey Fido!! Here's some bean burrito for ya! Good boy!! Eat up- there's more from where that came from!
HA HA - and they think we're stupid!!
FIB: How come there isn't a band playing tonight? In Chicaaaago there is something going on every night. What kind of hick town is this?
BAR OWNER: Well, (mockingly) Go back to Chicaaago or shut the fuck up before I shove this beer glass up your ass.
FIB: Let's go Muriel. These peeeeople are uncultured swines.
FIBETTE: Okay Taylor. I'm getting a little schaaared here. Is the SUV full of ghaaaaaaas?
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Fucking Illinois Bastard
1. One who drives in the fast lane, and chooses to do the speed limit
2. Someone who cuts through 2 lanes of traffic without signalling to exit Interstate
3. Chooses to vacation in Wisconsin, where there actually are hills, and a good football team
1. Hmmm, people keep passing me, I better put a stop to that and congest this whole damn stretch of pavement
2. My exit is coming up, I had better get over...hmmm, he forgot 4 fingers when he waved at me, oh well...Well I'll be, this wasn't even my exit, dirp
3. Lets head north to Wisconsin, they have hills, and small cities, that are way more laid back than us here in Chicago...I also heard they know how to play football, and make this thing called the playoffs
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Fucking Illinois Bastard or Fucking Illinois Bitch. Used by residents of Wisconsin (and sometimes Michigan) to describe people from Illinois.
FIB's tend to have one or more of the following characteristics:
-Drive slow enough to get passed by grandmothers (even though they go 25 over the limit in their own state).
-If they own a sports car, they drive it like an SUV. If they own an SUV, they drive it like a sports car.
-Lives in an overpriced condo on Chicago's lakefront or an overpriced house in the 'burbs (yet still tell's everyone they're from Chicago).
-Buys a vacation home in Lake Geneva, Door County or Upper Michigan and immediately complains about the lack of urban culture in the area. Yet they can't seem to stop vacationing there.
-FIB men usually claim to be "tough chicago guys" yet are too scared to go anywhere but Miller Park, Water Street or Third Ward when visiting Milwaukee for a Brewers-Cubs game.
-FIB men are usually at least 50 lbs. overweight, yet find room to complain about the supposed lack of size 0 women in Wisconsin and Michigan.
-FIB women are usually either 50 lbs. overweight and insist on wearing halter tops and mini-skirts, or have A-cups and wear tops intended for women with an actual chest.
-Claims to be cultured even though 90% of their wardrobe consists of Cubs and Bears sweatshirts and don't know of any restaurants that aren't bar & grill's.
-Think being an "outdoorsman" means sleeping in a $50,000 RV.
-Thinks Wisconsin wouldn't be able to sustain its economy without them, but don't recognize that they're gullible idiots who buy vacation property in parts of the state that Wisconsin natives don't even want.
-Buys a dried up piece of shit because a Wisconsin merchant told them it was used in Native American puberty rituals.
"If FIB's consider going to Lake Geneva a vacation, then Chicago must REALLY suck!"
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Fuckin' Illinois Bastard.
Used by people in Wisconsin to refer to people from Illinois who buy all of the lake properties in northern Wisconsin and who don't know how to drive while going there.
Wisconsinite 1: Look at all the FIBS here today...
Wisconsinite 2: Well, it's Memorial Day weekend, what else can you expect?
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The Federal Investigation Bureau (FIB) is a law enforcement agency in the Grand Theft Auto series, based on a real life FBI aka Federal Bureau Investigation has the same role as an intelligence agency and a federal criminal investigative body. As seen in Grand Theft Auto V, they also do domestic surveillance and counterterrorism.
Franklin: Hey, is that Lester?
Michael: What
Franklin: Hey, man. What the F*** you doin' here?
Michael: You should be in Bed.
Lester: Yes. I should be, I would be if known assciates weren't busy making themselves enemies of the state.
Trevor: Woo!
Lester: FIB, Merryweather, IAA. You can F*** with them all day long.
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An acronym for people from the Chicago metro as mentioned in the above definitions, especially when visiting Wisconsin, that properly describes the attitude and character of those people.
If Chicago started with an "I", the rest of Illinios would have the same acronym for people from Chicago. The rest of Illinois views Chicagoans as a plague of locusts on good, honest, hard-working people from outside of the Chicago metro, who suck up all of their resources, right down to their souls, and then cop a FIB attitude towards them when they complain about it.
For an example of the attitude of a FIB, which is the main reason for the nickname, just read what the FIB wrote in definition number 10. This moron has the typical attitude of a FIB, that they are superior human beings to all others in the world, their percieved value of wealth makes them better human beings, and the rest of the world should be saying "thank you" and wiping their asses for gracing it with their presence and money. This guy is worst kind of FIB, and can keep his money in Chicago if that is going to be his attitude.
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