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A great way to get someone to shut up
I tied a guy up in my van and covered his mouth with flex tape.
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A creation by the almighty god Phil Swift who can patch, bond, seal, and repair with no effort at all. It is his gift to us mortals to repair our foolish mistakes. Don’t try making it at home, because it is a creation by a GOD, not a HUMAN. Only the most worthy people are chosen to own it. Without Flex Tape, we would not exist.
John: “Phil Swift appeared in front of me and gave me a roll of Flex Tape yesterday!”
Caden: “You should be glad, he has chosen you as a worthy bearer of that supernatural gift.
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The retractable fluids of Phil Swift
Person : hey Phil can you fix this airplane for me?
Phil Swift : Sure, ill just use my flex tape
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"Flex tape. Okay, have you heard about this stuff? I mean, this is basically- Have you heard of Jesus? Well, even he couldn't do as much as Flex tape apparently."
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powerful enough to fix all your problems, marriage breakdowns, breakups, depression, everything in the book except for a leaky boat.
first person: i think i'm gonna buy some flex tape
second person: : hehe, thats a lotta damage
first person: what
second person: don't tell me
first person: what does that mean
second person: *jumps off bridge*
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flex tape, all hail the great flex tape, we preach to flex tape, flex tape is worshipped by all of mankind, it can fix anything, even your hopeless love life
yo, me and carli, we were having trouble with our marriage but we just go fukkin flex tape bro and we're happy bruh
got a giant black hole in the middle of the sun? fix it with flex tape ( but like wear fucking sunscreen for fuck sake my god)
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A 20 Dollar roll of duck tape. Just more sticky
I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF, AND REPAIRED IT USING ONLY FLEX TAPE
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