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A metaphorical badge of loyalty usually referenced as an item of travel gear when visiting a good friend in a tight spot.
“I’m visiting my buddy in the Army next week but he’s stationed at a pretty wild post, you know, murders, kidnappings, war brides, that kind of thing; so, I’ll definitely be packing my Kevlar neck gaiter.”
“Jesus, where’s he stationed, Fallujah?”
“Nah, Fort Bragg.”
A military colloquial for their helmets, due to what they are made of. This can also be applied to other protective gear of the same material, but is mainly applied to helmets due to their more obvious design, and other gear also including ceramic inserts.
Privates tend to misuse their Kevlars in humorous ways, up to and including strapping them to their joints to play human shuffleboard.
"Grab your Kevlar, we have a convoy in 2 hours"
What you buy on pistol round so you dont die to a fucking glock
Oh my god why you no buy kevlar cyka blyat
To smack a soldier on the ass with a nice piece of fresh kevlar
Hello fellow soldier care to give me a kevlar flat smack?
Why yes fellow soldier i would love to flat smack that ass with some kevlar
*proceeds to smack that sweet ass*
*gay buttsex proceeds with the soldiers ripened ass receiving some bomb ass dick*
Kevlar Vest is a term describing a conspiracy theory that is more fact than fiction, the antithesis to a Tinfoil Hat conspiracy theory which is more fiction then fact. Typically investigating a Kevlar Vest conspiracy theory is bad for one’s health, thus you would require a “Kevlar Vest”.
Paul: “All I’m saying is that Epstein didn’t kill himself!”
Sally: *Rips off face, revealing herself to be an FBI agent.*
FBI Agent: “You should have stopped digging.”
Paul: “Aww man, I knew this was a Kevlar Vest Conspiracy.”
FBI Agent: *Kills Paul, frames it as a suicide.*