Rural Dictionary

Malta

Some island in the Mediterrenean. Consists of 3 smaller islands, Malta, Gozo and Comino (that's why they call it an archipelago really). Malta is densley populated (imagine 400,000 citizens living in your back garden), is visited by old retired pensionants who are really desperate to spend all their money in some five star hotel with a crappy service. Out of 10 people picked out at random, 9 of them go to church every day...while the other one practically lives in church. Far too sunny, a sea that smells, "modified" cars i.e.some speaker and a metal sheet molded and crafted to form a spoiler and some side skirts. Maltese speak some language stolen from the Arabs.
Once in Malta you will regularly meet a new strange human species, the "sendikajr" they call it. These are just extreme nosy parkers whose only job is to know what are the neighbours doing. The most social area in Malta is the "super"market, where they sell food..sort of.... Here the "sendikajr" shares the news aquired during the previous day, such as how much times did Mary go to the toilet, when did she shower, when she slept with Ganni the butcher etc etc. Also, here news get amazingly modified to suit the sendikajr's pleasures.
Clubs in Malta suck. Such that teens say they have fun listening the songs of some amateur DJ during the weekend. They just stand there doing nothing except nod with their head with the beat of the music....DUM DUM DUM, ZRINZ ZRINZ ZRINZ etc.
On the Maltese roads, US astronouts test their boogy moon vehicles. They produce the same effect due to the disgraceful state of the streets.
The government workers (known in Malta as "tal-gvern") are amazingly inefficient. They do nothing properly, they walk slow, and eat a lot while at work. It's some sort of addictiveness I guess. To fix some small pot hole, 15 government workers are needed, with the difference that only 2 of them do the job while the rest sit down on some bench eating sandwiches. The problem is that a pot hole is changed into a small hill by these workers.
Education in Malta sucks due to the fact that Malta is so small that there isn't enough work for graduated students. So the ministry of education had the genial idea to harden every exam. This turned out to be very effective, since suicide rate increased and mortuaries had to employ more workers.
It sucks at the point that there are only 2 political parties, Nationalist and Labour Party and a smaller one known in Malta as the Green Party. The Labour party has been in opposition since ages ago due to the fact that it was overthrown off power since it sucked bad.
A large amount of rest-of-the-world-banned trees that cause asthma are exibited in Malta and produce lovely red, pink and white flowers.
Churches can be found in the same amount of McDonalds in New York and are very strict.
Public Transport is the worst i have ever met. Remember the old Leyland buses? They still use them in Malta. Then there is the only ship company to travel between Malta and Gozo. They thank you for using their company (called Gozo Channel) before each voyage during an announcement. The pun is that it's the only ship company, so as long as you don't decide to swim it, they have nothing to thank you for.
Highly cultured, well uneducated, boring and entertaining to old tourists, Malta bears the honor of never loosing a battle, maybe a proof of the citizens' stubborness.

Malta is a small island

If you go to Malta you'll meet the president on the bus

by Disastrous_innit? June 30, 2005

230👍 314👎

malta

A God forsaken island forgotten in the middle of the Med. The "hub" of Europe, Malta has been backdoored by every conceivable power that crossed Europe from the Greeks to the Romans, from the Arabs to the Templars, from the French to the Brits with some Vikings, Phoenicians, Carthagenians, Spaniards, Germans, Venitians and Sicilians thrown in to add some spice. In his many travels Marco Polo never came to Malta and Genghis Khan had this to say: "Ah Marrtah! Bin Lei Chat Hai". Hitler vowed to destroy the island and sent the Italians to bomb the island in WWII. Fortunately we dont speak German now and we proudly carry the George Cross for bravery. They say that the last of the Romanhofs fled to Malta.

The Romans said of Malta: Melita, ceteris paribus, paradisum cum bellum qahbum est!

by Tsarina November 29, 2005

103👍 146👎

malta

Yea... where can i start, if you come to malta hoping to find a really nice history lesson, then your coming to the right place but if your planning on staying, Stop!, Think about it, and then change your mind, because malta is what you can call a hell hole.
maltese people say that they're not racist but just look at them and you'd see it.
the governments in malta suck big time seeing as it takes them 2 years just to start doing the roads then only do bits every here and there.

the people here are the most nosy, iggronant and 2 faced people your every bound to meet.

picture this 'your sitting on one of there old leyland busses and your phone rings, you pick it up and begin to talk in english' now at this moment every single person on the bus have twisted they're neck round 360 degrees just to nosy at you.

It never snows, if it does snow the houses here would'nt be able to do anything to keep the cold out and everyone would probably freeze to death, because all houses are made out of brick.

malta's radio sucks because they play music that came out over 6 years ago and through the song all the Radio DJ does is yabber on about everything and you cant even hear the song... if your going to talk all the time call it a friggin talk show.

I think the only highlight about malta is their national dish 'timpana'.

maltese shows looks like they're still using the cameras that came out in the 70's.

um... example, just come to malta n see 4 yourself... you'll see every friggin thing i just mentioned on here.

by Translogic April 11, 2006

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