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The Midwestern special is when you marry your high school sweetheart from the small Midwestern town you grew up in, only for the relationship to dimish more and more over time until it ends in a divorce.
Guy 1: Bro did you hear about Gus and Abbey?
Guy 2: You mean those two high-school sweethearts that got married after high school? They didn't get a serving of the Midwestern Special did they bro?
Guy 1: Bro they did.
Guy 2: That sucks to hear.
Guy 3: Smeh
A no-win situation in which no action is taken because all parties defer to the others. Like a Mexican standoff but with toxic niceness instead of guns.
Every driver at the 4-way stop waved the others along but no one would go since it was a midwestern standoff.
Khakis, shirt, and tie, but no jacket. It's what guys from the Midwest think is "dressing up," but fail to realize they look like Mormons.
Dude, Austin's going with the Midwestern Tuxedo tonight. Classic Austin.
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A Midwestern Goodbye is a way to leave an event, party, or any gathering of people. The way one does a Midwestern Goodbye is to go to the door, grab your coat and proceed to talk to your host for multiple hours while next to the door. No matter the soberness of yourself or your host you must engage in an enriching conversation covering recent and past topics and events. A Midwestern Goodbye is commonly associated with Minnesota Nice
Minnesotan 1 : Welp I suppose I should better get going, gotta go to the mall before we get home.
Minnesotan 2 : Which mall?
Minnesotan 1 : Oh just old Ridgedale off of Highway 12
Minnesotan 2 : Really? I’ve never been there.
Minnesotan 1 : Well let me tell you about Ridgedale!
Ext.
Commentator : Welp that’s a case of a Midwestern Goodbye!
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A midwestern goodbye is like purgatory. There is no escape.
When you're little it happens like this:
You: MAMA WHEN ARE WE GOING HOME *CRIES* I'M TIRED
Your Mama: Just a couple more minutes, I have to say bye and find your daddy
You: Okay :)
*7 hours later*
Your daddy: *slaps knee and sighs* Welp, I spose. We gots to get home, little Timmy is tired
Your uncle: You haven't even finished your beer
Your daddy: I'm driving pal
Your uncle: Lemme walk you to your car then
Your daddy: *rolls down the window to talk to your uncle*
*3 hours later*
Your daddy: oh gosh look at the time, we gots to get goin.
Your uncle: Your tire is looking a lit flat there bud. roll er into the garage and I'll top er off for ya
Your uncle: boy it sure is chilly and I's can see your hot n cold ain't working too good, why don't yous come inside and I'll grab your leftovers too.
*the cycle of the midwestern goodbye will continue on until one of you dies*
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Used to describe the back and forth indecisiveness of a group. Often the result midwestern decision makers.
Q: Where should we go to eat? A: I am fine with whatever. A: I am flexible A: I really could eat anything right now. A: Who hasn't picked a place lately, it is their turn to decide. A: Oh come on people, we are falling into a midwesterner loop.
The sign at the park says don't feed the Midwestern penguins.