hot from far but far from hot

when you see a girl far off and she's hot but when you walk by she an ugly bitch!

(you see a girl far off) I boned her last night)
you: I boned her last night
(she comes closer)
your friend laughs

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in my far from humble opinion

An assertive phrase to introduce one's opinion by someone who is supremely confident it is the only valid viewpoint that makes logical sense. It is often abbreviated to IMFFHO. It should not be used by the faint hearted or those that cannot back it up with facts.

In my far from humble opinion, Matt Oxley writes like he's sitting on a time-bomb waiting for it to explode so he can be the first to report it
In my far from humble opinion, Valentino Rossi will never win another world championship

better from far, far from better

When scoping a hot chick from a far distance, then as she gets closer you and your buddy realize she is hideous.

Damn dude check that chick over there, she coming this way. Dude! She's hideous, definitely "better from far, far from better" up close....

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the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

refers to a father/mother and son/daughter not being different from one another or being identical in their actions, behaviors, etc.

Dad gets caught stealing in his teen years and then his son gets caught stealing as a teen.

The mother might look at the father and say, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

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the apple never falls far from the tree

Statement made to infer that one is invariably similar to their parents. Often used negatively or ironically.

1: I heard that Jake is on drugs.
2: Yeah, so was his dad.
1: Hmmm...the apple never falls far from the tree.

1: Stacy's Mom is teh shizzle.
2: Have you seen Stacy? The apple never falls far from the tree.....

1: You filthy little scoundrel, just like your father!
2: I'm nothing like my father!!!
1: The apple never falls far from the tree!

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the asshole doesn't fall far from the tree

When a son/daughter is intolerable or unlikable, just like their father/mother.

The neighbor boy must be taking lessons from his father. He let his dog poop in our yard again," I said. "The asshole doesn't fall far from the tree.

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The cookie doesn't crumble far from the tree.

A saying by non-native English speakers who have literally no idea how our metaphors or idioms work. Bullshit nonsense that's probably the butt of a joke or something.

Person 1: Hey Sven, why weren't you at work yesterday?
Sven: That's the way the apple falls when the cookie doesn't crumble far from the tree.
Person 1: ...