pygmy shrew

The pygmy shrew is a fascinating creature, the smallest animal in God's Kingdom. The shrew is almost completely blind, and must rely on its barely adequare sense of smell to avoid its natural predators... the fox, the badger, the cat, the dog, the bear, the dolphin, the donkey, the bat, the crayfish, the buffalo, the saw, the polar bear, the crab, the plane, the monkey, the saw, the fork, the banshee, the harpsichord, the common-earthworm, and other shrews. The shrew is so tiny that it cannot maintain body heat without constant exposure to sunlight. In the winter, most will not survive... The shrew's young are born utterly hairless, and will remain so for the rest of their lives. They are entirely dependent on their mother - most of whom die in labor. The mothers that do survive face a grim future, hunted and killed by their young for sport. 99% of the baby shrews will not survive their first night unless they are found by a kindly shrew farm attendant...

it's fucked, basically.

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Pygmy Penis

A very small penis scaled in proportion to a very small person, usually it takes a significant amount of hunting through a thick black forest to find the Pygmy Penis.

You horrible little Pygmy Penis

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pygmy bitch

A small runt like person with the mental capacity of a potato, whom is your bitch. Often used in place of Errand boy.

"Pygmy bitch come here with my soda!"
"WTF is a Pygmy?"
"A mythological creature in Norse mythology."
"Like the Norse you ride?"
"Shut the fuck up pygmy bitch."

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pygmy goat

You the GOAT and cute. Cute af and also GOAT. Basically you’re the god damn queen/king of it all.

David Beckham isn’t just the GOAT, he’s Pygmy GOAT. Because he’s fine and the GOAT soccer player.

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Pygmy Whore

A Lancaster, Ohio man who is of short stature that just cant contain himself from having sexual intercourse with random men and women.

fuck me like a pygmy whore...damn look at him..yea hes nothing but a pygmy whore.

Pygmy joint

A small joint, rolled with cigarette rolling papers, complete with roach.

"I'm not in the mood for a whole joint, might just roll a Pygmy joint"

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Pygmy Puff

A bright pink ball of fuzz that jumps in the palm of your hands, first seen in "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince".

That rug is so fluffy, it looks like 10,000 Pygmy Puffs.

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