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"Too drunk to fucktion" is a more specified spin-off from the term "too drunk to function" referring to someone being so intoxicated from alcohol that they can no longer perform even the simplest sexual acts with someone. This includes but is not limited to kissing, de-clothing either oneself or another, fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal and anal intercourse. Once someone has reached this level of intoxication, it is often followed by violent vomiting and/or passing the fuck out.
Nick: "Hey, you're really drunk. You could barely get your shirt off in that game of strip poker. "
Evan: "Yeah and when I was trying to make out with you earlier you kept licking my face instead"
Kitty: "That's..cause...I'm....too drunk to fucktion!" (Kitty begins puking into a beer pong cup)
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1. A quote from the late, great Colonel Sanders 2. A phrase that instantly nullifies all of your opponents points, arguments, etc. 3. The greatest comeback ever
Person 1: "The sky is obviously yellow"
Person 2: "Are you kidding me? That's ridiculous, first of all, the sky is no single color, but a multitude of colors, which reflect to us as a blueish color"
Person 1: "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"
Person 2: "Damn"
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when a male is so inebriated that his genitalia is not usable in a sexual act.
Girl: get your close off hunk.
Guy: ok
Girl: ...
Guy: what.?
Girl: omg you are TDGH (too drunk to get hard).
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A state of being when one is too hungover to go to work, but is too broke to have being able to afford alcohol in the first place.
1. Rob: Is Tom coming in today? He is 3 hours late.
James: No, he called in. He is hungover.
Rob: I thought he was broke
James: He is! Maybe he sold his plasma TV for a 5th.
Rob: Too Broke to Drink Too drunk to work! Damn.
2. Jerry: Hey Tom, wanna get crunk tonight?
Tom: Hell yeah! I'll go turn in my pop bottles and forget my electric bill until next week! I've been dying to burn those candles!
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