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A flaccid penis. Short, fat and bald, not unlike the frugal and hilarious George Costanza of Seinfeld.
It's hard to have sex when you're Costanza.
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An act of defication that is so strenuous it involves the removal of an article of clothing, especially the shirt.
After Thanksgiving I usually have a Costanza.
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Nibbling on a deserted dessert you've taken out of the trash can.
Dude, he's at the trash can, pulling a Costanza...I threw that donut away 20 minutes ago!
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To set out to accomplish a life task, only to fail miserably right off the bat. Usually done so in a humerously ironic manner that will make great campfire stories later on in life.
Examples of a Costanza would include, but are not limited to:
Spilling hot chocolate on the girl you've just met, thus giving her 3rd degree leg burns and forever friending you by default.
Falling into a gaping lawn hole while attempting to act suave whilst playing hot potato with various clothing items.
Attempting to engulf any sort of hot vegetable whole without the aid of silver ware, thus creating an awkward situation along with severe tongue injuries.
Sitting in a room, petting a dog's ass for 3 hours while your friends make moves on the girl you came there in the hopes of getting to know.
Being caught with dubious amounts of contraband by an insane lawyer, then proceeding to forge a night's worth of false documents in order to prove your innocence.
Chris: "So, you think that girl I met the other day will be there tonight? I really hope so, because she seems pretty cool."
Kyle: "Yeah man, just don't screw this up. Play it cool, you'll be fine."
10 Minutes after arriving to her house....
*Chris spills hot chocolate all over the girl's leg, and swallows a potato whole, then proceeds to pet the dog's ass the rest of the night out of shame and confusion*
Kyle, Mike, Chris: "COSTANZA!!!! CO-STANZA!!!"
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When you are eating a girl out and the pussy just isn't enough for you. You proceed to take a quick break unknowing to your girl and take a bite of a pastrami sandwich you have hidden. Then you get back to eating the more delicious pastrami in between your girls legs. Just like George did in the episode.
Dude I was so hungry last night while I was fucking that I pulled the costanza on my girl.
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To get head while taking a dump, eating a sandwich, and watching TV.
- "What kind of sandwich would you like with your Costanza?" - "Pastrami with spicy mustard, please."
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Costanzaed It--the art of taking a seemingly sure thing and somehow fumbling it away, usually due to a temporary and false sense of empowerment or boldness.
Based on the Seinfeld character George who repeatedly snapped defeat from the jaws of victory.
Also: present tense "Costanza It", or to "Pull a Costanza"
1. Man, I sure Costanzaed It with that chick. We were sucking face and I asked her if she and her sister would go for a ride on the threeway freeway. She ditched me faster than a cat can lick its ass.
2. Dude, you have a Recession Beard. Don't Pull a Costanza on the job offer by asking for Rock Star Parking and mo money.
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