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The funniest joke ever invented in the history of humor. A joke so funny hearing it without proper preparation could cause death or serious internal bleeding.
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An common joke among comedians involving a travelling family of performers doing bizarre sex acts with each other during an audition in front of a talent scout. When the talent scout asks what they call themselves, the lead proudly announces, "The Aristocrats!"
The point of this joke is not the punchline, "The Aristocrats!", but rather the gratuitous descriptions of the sex acts and bodily fluids. These vary depending on the teller. Below is a short example of the joke.
So, a family goes in to a talent scout asking for an audition, and the talent scout says, OK.
The father proceeds to undress himself and rips the clothes off his family, have all sorts of sex with his entire family, and by the end, the room is covered in urine, semen, feces, blood, sweat, tears, vaginal juices, vomit, hair, spit, earwax, mucus, toenails, fingernails, and little bits of skin.
You can imagine the kind of things that must have gone on...
When asked what they call the act, the father responds,
"The Aristocrats!"
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A very disgusting brand of rum.
I drank that first sip of Aristocrat and almost threw up, cuz it was so nasty!
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An extremely good looking Italian nobleman from an ancient family. He is pale, well built, tall with brown black wavy hair slicked back, prefers dark custom made conservative clothes, with pants that reveal his grand manliness, wears handmade oxford tie shoes, one piece of jewelry only a gold family ring, speaks three langauges, is always polite, speaks English with an English accent, is confident in business and desired at parties. In love he is the king of swordsman.
There look she found herself an aristocrat in Rome.
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his joke almost always has these elements—alternative versions may change this form.
Setup: A family act (or a representative, usually the male head of household) goes in to see a talent agent about booking their act. The agent asks what their act consists of.
Act: If the whole family is present, the act is performed for the agent; otherwise it is described, in as much detail as the teller prefers, typically ad lib. Traditionally, the description is tasteless and ribald. The goal is to significantly transgress social norms. Taboo acts such as racism, animal cruelty, incest, rape, child sexual abuse, coprophilia, coprophagia, bestiality, necrophilia, cannibalism, and murder are common themes.
Punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is: "The Aristocrats!" Some versions have the agent then asking, "So – Is that all ya' got?"
You can't tell the aristocrat among pussies
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One that opposes the prevailing status quo and the decline of modern society. Similar to Friedrich Nietzsche's concept of übermensch, it is able to give itself authority based on a higher transcendental inner law.
It is against the Modern State and the Bourgeois Liberal State and its consecutive evils: Socialism, Marxism, Communism, Liberalism, Freemasonry, Totalitarianism, Positivism, Enlightenment, Fascism, Humanism, Renaissance, French Revolution Modernism, Anthropocentrism, Capitalism, Materialism, Feminism, LGBT rights, Republicanism, Representative Democracy, Liberal Democracy, Progressivism, Mass Media, Militant Atheism, Anti-Left/Right Dichotomy, Cosmopolitanism, Consumerism, Human Rights, Technocracy, Organized Religions, Globalization and Abortion. He is skeptical of technology, organized religions and the economy.
The anarcho-aristocrat is truly a superior metaphysical type of man, heroic, intellectual and, above all, spiritually noble.
One that opposes the prevailing status quo and the decline of modern society. Similar to Friedrich Nietzsche's concept of übermensch, it is able to give itself a higher transcendental inner law.
It is against the Modern State and the Bourgeois Liberal State and its consecutive evils: Socialism, Marxism, Communism, Liberalism, Freemasonry, Totalitarianism, Positivism, Enlightenment, Fascism, Humanism, Renaissance, French Revolution Modernism, Anthropocentrism, Capitalism, Materialism, Feminism, LGBT rights, Republicanism, Representative Democracy, Liberal Democracy, Progressivism, Mass Media, Militant Atheism, Anti-Left/Right Dichotomy, Cosmopolitanism, Consumerism, Human Rights, Technocracy, Organized Religions, Globalization and Abortion. He is skeptical of technology, organized religions and the economy.
The rebel-aristocrat is truly a superior metaphysical type of man, heroic, intellectual and, above all, spiritually noble.