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v. crunched, crunch•ing, crunch•es
v. tr.
1. To crush, grind, or tread noisily while taking a Dump.
2. The act of taking a huge shit
3. Slang. To perform operations on; manipulate or process (numerical, mathematical or fecal data).
v. intr.
1. To move feces with a crushing sound.
2. To produce or emit a crushing sound during the act of shitting.
n.
1. A modified sit-up position having a smaller range of motion that reduces back strain and strengthens the abdominal muscles when pushing out shit.
I just took a huge crunch, it almost knocked down a wall in the bathroom.
I need to stop eating so much cheese, I haven't had a good crunch in weeks.
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A Crunch is a serious bowel movement. A bowel movement so fierce and powerful that it becomes less of a simple action and more of an event. One's day can be completely centered around the acting of a crunch, such a time is referred to as Crunch Time.
Nick: Oh God...
Justin: What?
Nick: I feel it coming...
Justin: What?
Nick: OMG! Where's your bathroom?!
Justin: Over there...why?
Nick: It's coming!
Justin: What's coming?!
Nick: A CRUNCH!
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The act of having really rough sex. Possibly with Oreo cookies involved.
I was crunching with Sam Malone last night and I tore that skank up.
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When you eat a women out during your lunch break - You have cunt for lunch.
Guy: Dude, your breath smells of tuna.
Stud: I know, that's because I've just had some crunch.
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Another meaning for Cocaine. Or can be the action of doing cocaine. You can call your friend whoever does the most Crunchie Christ.
Got any crunch bro?
I'm trying to get crunched the fuck out tonight.
Line up a couple gaggers of some crunch
Got a jawn of crunch?
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Excuse me, I have to go for a crunch
Wow! That was a killer crunch!
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When someone seems attractive from a far away distance or from the side, but when you look at them from the front or at a closer view, you realize they are in fact hideous. Derived from that moment when you go to step on a leaf thinking it's crunchy, but it doesn't crunch when you step on it. When used as an adjective, the proper word form is crunchy, as crunch is the noun form.
"Boy! I thought that guy was hella attractive when I saw him walking in the hallway. But when he actually passed me, I was severely disappointed. Whatta crunch!"
"She seemed attractive at first glance, but unfortunately, she was crunchy."
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