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Random
When you fuck your woman in the ass, while shoving her head first into an oven.
Abe: Dude, did you see that old fat bitch eating breadcrumbs behind Mcdonalds?
Joel: Yea, I already invited her to my candy house and gave her a hansel and gretel.
Abe: Call the police!
5👍 18👎
A self-care tactic used when getting involved with someone who has a lot of issues: you leave a prominent trail of breadcrumbs as you go in so that you can make a clean retreat later when you're really lost in the woods.
On the second date she told me I was "like her mother but not as strict", so I immediately started Hansel and Greteling; it saved me a lot of pain later.
4👍 13👎
When a woman makes her boyfriend a sandwhich (preferably pbj or ham) and then she gives him a blowjob. After he cums on her face, he sprinkles his left over bread crumbs on her face.
Boy- Oh god, im gonna blow
Girl- yay
(boy jizzes and throws crumbs)
Boy- take my hansel and gretel slut... make me another sandwhich
8👍 51👎
when your girl is making something in the oven, as she opens the oven door you shove her head in and fuck her in the ass
rick gave his grandma the old hansel and gretel as she took the thanksgiving turkey out of the ove
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when your women is making something in the oven, as she opens the oven door you run up behind her shove her head in then you pants her and fuck her in either hole
brandon used the hansel and gretel on his mother in law
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To have sex with someone inside an oven. Requires extreme flexibility and a high resistance to heat. (Or just very big appliances).
From the children's fairy tale "Hansel and Gretel". Because we know what they were REALLY doing in that oven...
A. She wanted to hansel-and-gretel him, but unfortunately, she wasn't flexible and he just couldn't take the heat.
B. "Are things getting hot in here, or is that just me?"
"No, stupid, it's just because we're hansel-and-greteling."
3👍 188👎
Taking a girl out of your league on multiple dates in hopes of fattening her up- then when her self-esteem is lowered she bangs you.
Dude, I swear before I started Hansel & Greteling her she was a 10.
4👍 3👎