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Scots : A young waster who lives in the Glasgow area; a hooligan; a gang member, with skip cap, tracksuit and socks tucked into trainers. Poss. from "Non-Educated Deliquent"
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A ned is a Scottish term for a male between the ages of 8 and 19 who enjoys wearing cheap, usually fake tracksuits, Kappa or Lacoste trainers, white football socks over their tracksuit bottoms, and of course a fake Burberry cap pointed skywards. They may also be seen wearing Helly Hansen of Berghaus jackets, depending on weather conditions.
Favourite pastimes of a ned include smoking anything they can get their hands on, drinking Buckfast ("Buckie") or cheap cider, such as the "White Lightning" crap you can get out of the Spar for £1.50 a litre, starting fights with random people, although never alone, they always start fights in groups ("Crews", "Fleetos" or "Yung Teems"), and shagging the female of the species, coined a "Nedette".
A Nedette is similar to a ned in both attire and pastimes, but instead of a normal Burberry cap, they wear pink Burberry caps, they have around 12 fake gold hoop earrings on each ear, and are usually accompanied by their screaming, butt-ugly toddler, to whom they gave birth at the age of 12.
Traditional Ned Battlecry:
Ned(to passing stranger):"Oi you ya bam. You bein' wide?"
Stranger:"Er......no?"
Ned:"Aye ye are. You deserve a slap"
Ned hits Stranger
Stranger:"What the f*** was that for?
Stranger hits Ned back
Ned(pulling out bread knife):"Me an' ma Crew 'ill f***ing wreck you!"
Stranger runs, pursued by 5 Neds with kitchen knives
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Neds are people who speak slang ,wear track suits, often lacoste. female neds: wear a foundaition a few times darker than there natural skintone resulting in an orange appearance.neds tend to wear a vast amount of common cheap gold jewellery. Neds r closely associated with chavs and bams.
neds can often be found loitering in parks under bridges or in other quiet and iscolated places drinking bucky/buckfast or cider and smoking. Neds often form gangs for there area they arrange fights with other gangs for no apparent reason. police hate neds and innocent people are often mistaken for neds , resulting in great hatred for the neds of glasgow and other areas.
ned1: awrite mate want tae go doon tae the shop the nite n gee sum bucky n that coz a heavey need a booze.
ned2: aye sound mate, want tae gee sum maddog n'all, gonnae be a pure buzz the nite.
ned1: aye mate am off tae meet ma burd catch'ye
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Irritating, overly-confident, arrogant, uneducated Street Monkey, indigenous to Scotland and much much harder than the english chavs.
Males are usually found wearing Ned Tartan Caps (Burberry)and brightly coloured Shellsuits. Their habitat usually includes off-licenses that sell Buckfast (or a "Bottle of Whit the fuck ye gawking at, ya bawbag" as it is locally known) Their IQ is usually around five points short of a cannibis plant, which they smoke consistantly in a vain hope of increasing intelligence. They tend to hunt in packs or 10-20 and can be menancing to the rest of the general public - Although if you lamp the gobbiest wee shite amongst them and the pituitary retard (6'4" at 14 years old) then generally they run away making baboon noises and disappear into the undergrowth for a couple of hours. The male communicates with other males in grunts, farts and burps and simple phrases like "Gie's a swally o yer bucky man" and "check the airse on thon wee hairy" which are about the limit of speech their education allows.
The female of the species is defined by the wobble of lard which cocoons her body and this is only held in place by here over-stretched thong and too small bra. Most of the females will be pregnant before the age of sixteen unless the nedette is in Dundee when she will be pregnant by 13 years old. The females are like magpies in that they like things which are shiny and will marry their male ned for the price of a £19.99 ring from Elizabeth Duke's in Argos even if it causes their fingers to turn green.
Alternatively if the male ned is simply "Wantin his hole" then all he has to do is purchase or steal a 3 litre bottle of Frosty Jack's Chemical - never seen an apple - Cider which when placed in the line of sight of a nedette causes her lard to burst her thong and for her legs to spread rapidly even before he offers her a swally..
Examples of neds can be found outside any off-licence in Scotland for the males and outside the nurseries at home time for the females
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A Scottish term for the often uneducated and invariably aggressive teenagers found throughout Britain. Identified by gold jewellery (especially sovereign rings), baseball caps, white trainers and/or Kappa/Burberry branded clothing. The name is thought to derive from 'Edward', as in teddy boy. It is in no way an acronym for "non-educated delinquent", which is in any case ungrammatical.
"A bunch of wee neds broke in last week and vandalised the place."
"Fucksake."
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A young spotty unemployed shellsuit wearing tink, who thinks thunderbird is a drink for posh people, his ambition is to go to jail and offend as many normal people as possible, the highlight of his week is giro day or slashing someone at the weekend, scared to look at you on his own, but thinks he is hard as fuck in a group of 20 other neds, picks fag buts from the street and hassles people for spare change.
No I am not going to give you my spare change you fuckin ned,
or, get a job you fucking ned
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a general wee prick who will pick fights with those who are differant when in large groups. when alone a ned will shit his trackies and run.
last week a wee ned whop started on me happened to get stuck in an elevator on his own the front of my new rocks are now permanantly broken thanks to his thick skull.
clean the streets kill a ned
join the a.a.n army against neds
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