pornamented

The use of sex toys to decorate a Christmas tree.

Person 1) Is that a dildo on your tree?
Person 2) Yup. It's been pornamented.

That tree is pornamented.

Pornament

A contest between couples to determine who can most accurately duplicate scenes from any arbitrary XXX film. The pornament is usually judged by an unbiased third party.

Dick and Jane's morning yoga class really payed off by enabling them to take first prize in the neighborhood pornament.

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Lawn Pornament

Any seasonal lawn decoration that has been or can be used as a sex doll or sex toy. Can be inflatable or rigid and may or may not be modified to support deviant acts.

My grandma called the police when she saw a drunk college student from down the street defiling her prized inflatable Santa Claus. When the Police arrived, they found him passed out holding a Christmas elf. He had apparently sealed the deal with Donner, Prancer, Rudolph's mouth, and Frosty the Snow Man. When questioned, he claimed that he became addicted to Lawn Pornaments after dropping acid while watching a Family Guy marathon.

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