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Semi-sentient being who inexplicably survives an extremely unhealthy lifestyle. Usually found in confined spaces with low lighting, at a computer terminal.
"Programmer A : The internet is serious business.
Programmer B : Very serious."
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A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.
Finance Director: "Hey programmer guy. When is the stock predicted to change?"
Programmer: "01001001 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111"
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"Person who procrastinates while trying to appear to be programming."
or
"Person who appears to be programming but is in fact procrastinating."
That guy is a fucking programmator!
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An individual skilled at writing software code.
Neo-programmers are unlike computer nerds of the past. These new programmers are numerous, travel in groups, and can be easily identified by scruffy hair accompanied with a goatee. Most enjoy arguing with you about the minutia of life. Eating habits are poor, which generally leads to moderate or severe potbelly.
Programmers also enjoy other activities, including online poker, Halo 3, Call of Duty, Gears of War, and playing guitar.
They can sometimes be abrasive due to poor underlying social skills. For example, every joke a programmer tells is specifically designed to make sense only to other programmers. This makes attracting females difficult, which can easily be fixed by meeting women through an online service.
Non-programmer: What's the difference between Python and C++?
Programmer: Don't talk to me you fuckin' nub.
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(A) Programmer is a species that can make apps for you to use. There are two main types of programmers:
1. The <Cliché Programmer> - can be spotted wearing a conference t-shirt and the pale skin. The main skin of nutrition is a black carbonated liquid which is devoured in a large cuantity;
2. The <Hipster Programmer> - this species only consumes warm liquids based on expensive spices and beans. His only tool is a so called <Macintosh>. The <Hipster Programmer> will often refuse to work with tasks such as <SQL Databases> or <Java>. This specimen also makes use of the trackpad attached to his portable <Macintosh>;
For many individuals (programmers) is considered prestigious to not utilise the <Mouse> unit at all.
"I would like to be a Cliché Programmer."
~Me
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a term that refers to a nocturnal machine that turns keyboard strokes into errors and infinite headaches at 3am everyday.
"I'm a programmer."
"go git commit die"
"ok"
The person at your place of business who subtly or not so sublty manipulated events for his own amusement. Often instigates encounters with the likes of the goat and koliyah.
Hey koliyah, why do you think I am the programmer?
Who says I think that?
Everybody, I heard you say it.
How did you hear me?
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