Random
Source Code
Random
{stat – ute - uv - lim – i – tay – shuns}:
The agreement, usually nonverbal and not always legally formalized, that occurs between husband and wife shortly after (before?) marriage. It lays out his limitations. Following are some standard clauses (No, not Nicholas or Martha):
1. Football Limitation: 1 day per week
2. Guys Night Out Limitation: 1 night per month
3. Trash Detail Limitation: NONE. Husbands are always on trash detail
4. Bikini Ogling Limitation: NEVER unless it’s the wife in the bikini - Or you’re certain she’ll never find out
5. Alcohol Intake Limitation:
a. 1 glass wine daily with dinner
b. 1 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football
c. Exception: 2 six-pack beer for Monday Night Football if you
have a buddy over or the wife is feeling generous.
d. 2 large glasses expensive champagne – 1 time/year on anniversaries
According to the Statute of Limitations you can't go to the bar tonight with Fred. It's my dinner night!
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The posting of cat pictures on Facebook is strictly forbidden.
Exception is taken to this rule if the person's wall which is posted on is either asleep, intoxicated, or open to hacks.
A: Dude! You can't post cat pictures, FACEBOOK STATUTE 371!
B: Nah, its cool, she's wasted.
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The attorney said that Texas' murder statute calls for 99 years in prison, but not assault.
The attorney said that Texas' murder statute calls for 99 years in prison, but not assault.
the length of time something must be left at someone else's house before you hadn't need to take it back. specific to unwanted items.
I found your old new balance sneakers in the back of my closet. Will you please take them with you when you leave?
Those aren't mine.
Yes they are.
No, your statute of haditations expired on those. They're your problem now.