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a tall, handsome, consumer of food who never gains weight, no matter how much he eats.
wow that guy just ate 3 pizzas, how's he so thin? oh right, he's a valentin.
315👍 75👎
this young man is stunning. He has abs, blonde hair which he always styles or chooses not to on some days happening rarely. He has a big penis usually ranging from 6-8 inches. A lot of girls like him but not all het him. He will always love you and he is super caring.
58👍 11👎
the day of fornication and depression
today is valentines and my boyfriend dumped me.
272👍 72👎
The ''Valentinus bigpenus'' usually just called Valentin was discovered and researched on by a random old scientist. They are a member of the Hominina tribe (or human tribe), a branch of the tribe Hominini belonging to the family of great apes.
The first Valentin was discovered in a cave in 69 BC. The latest fossils were found in a cave next to a computer of a fat guy. The Valentin caves usually held lots of female human skeletons with their genitalia parts cracked. Scientists said that those skeletons were once beautiful human women, until the Valentins lured them into his cave. Scientists say that they lure other females in with their enormous penises.
The remains of 99% of the skeletons were usually paralyzed from the neck down. The Valentin specie is near extinction with only 6 and a half alive. They reproduce with humans and sometimes asexually by using binary fission (basically cloning). But they prefer to reproduce sexually. The Valentins reproduce sexually with women only because they are a very straight specie. They are characterized with their large penises, their height, black hair and chiseled abs. They are practically immortal as the oldest one is 6 billion years old. They have many things about them that includes the attributes of omniscience (infinite knowledge), omnipotence (unlimited power), omnipresence (present everywhere), divine simplicity, and as having an eternal and necessary existence.
Person 1: Hey, I saw valentin watching me in the shower today. He was flying his horse then he saw me and blessed me with this dildo
Person 2: Valentins dont exist what are you talking abou-
:Valentin erases person 2 from existence:
Person 1: He deserved it anyways..
37👍 7👎
The most important girl you'll ever meet she is beautiful, funny, and sweet
23👍 3👎
A male who is usually from/of Russian background, cocky, can get extremely egotistical, is found to be most likely born as a Leo. With honor and humble pride, he strictly believes in what he knows is right and doesn't permit anyone or anything to falter his thoughts.
Symbol is of a lion because of how demanding, closed off, powerful way he can react. Is known to be a really deep person who could pass as a motivational speaker or someone who sees the positivity and consequences for himself and make his mind on what he knows fits for him.
Valentins keep secrets. They have difficulty trusting just anyone and it is really difficult to earn their trust. One who disproves themselves to them, they close their heart off to them for awhile.
Valentins get hurt easily. Inside is a bottle filled to the top with painful emotions and it would take years to empty/release it all. They have been hurt in the past and have trust and honesty issues with people they meet.
Deep rich brown eyes, brown hair, their usual tall height and addicting laugh makes them a hit with people around them. They carry a charisma that makes others want to be close to them, but they themselves don't always realize it.
Although they are known for being such douches at times, they aren't capable of being hated. They are loveable, caring, understanding, amazing people.
People underestimate them until they get to know them... Not close with them? You're missing out from living on high.
xx
Nolan: Babe, that friend you have is a total knockout, how'd you find a guy like that?
Eve: I worked the magic, haha, nah, Valentin and I met after climbing the same palm tree back in Tampa.
Nolan: He's a Valentin??????
Eve: The one and only.
Nolan: Mann, I need to find myself a Valentin.
Eve: You can only dream :)
Nolan: I already am.
125👍 33👎
a tall, handsome, consumer of food who never gains weight, no matter how much he eats.
likes to entertain himself when there's no choice.
He still survives that place because he's a Valentin.
79👍 21👎