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Polish the War Helmet

A colloquial expression for Male Masturbation.

Iโ€™m going to the bathroom so I can polish the war helmet.

Iโ€™ve got blue balls so must polish the war helmet.

My uncle likes to watch me polish the war helmet for some reason.

by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019


Trojan War Helmet

The gateway drug from the Polish Ham Press, it is the act of placing one's scrotum as so in both testicles rest in the eye sockets of the victim whilst the the shaft runs down the length of the nose. Giving the look of a Trojan war helmet.

*Not to be confused with a Mushroom Stamp

"Hey Ty, if you keep leaning your head back in that chair you're gonna get a nice Trojan War Helmet placed on that dome of yours."

by Fat Goose November 9, 2015


trojan war helmet

Draping you wang over the forehead and nose of the unsuspecting victim, therefore resembling a trojan war helmet.

Dude, Jerry was sitting in the chair and I snuck up behind him and gave 'em the old trojan war helmet.

by ECGXChuck March 23, 2006

38๐Ÿ‘ 13๐Ÿ‘Ž


Roman War Helmet

Involves placing the testicles onto a partner's eyes and the shaft of an erection along the nose, simulating a Roman War Helmet.

Caeser absolutely loved to recieve Roman War helmets from Marcus Aureleous...

by DJHeadUp January 30, 2003

217๐Ÿ‘ 104๐Ÿ‘Ž


Purple War Helmet

An extremely engorged cock head.

Yeah? Who dis?
This is Nancy. I need to talk to my daughter real quick.

Sorry there ma she all up in my junk right now and her mouf is full of purple war helmet.

My new cock ring is super tight and really gives me quite the purple war helmet.

I could feel his purple war helmet punching my cervix like a speedbag.

by Dick Onchin October 30, 2020


roman war helmet

when you put your balls around eyes and your cock goes down her nose so it looks like a roman war helmet.

damn that chickenhead looked like sparticus last night when she was wearing my roman war helmet

by gregg bixler October 13, 2007

105๐Ÿ‘ 68๐Ÿ‘Ž


Norman war helmet

When ones lady friend lays down on her back, One then proceeds to place ones testicles on her forehead and cock down over her nose thus resembling a Norman war helmet!

I gave the baw and chain a Norman war helmet last night and she was ready for battle.

by The peoples poet RP August 16, 2011

3๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž