Nobel Pieces Prize

The Nobel Pieces Prize is the opposite of the Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to those who have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congress.

To the contrary, The Nobel Pieces Prize is awarded to those who have done the most or the best work for turning nation against nation, for the abolition or reduction of human and animal life as well as the infrastructure that once supported said life, for increasing standing armies and the weaponry that they use to blow everything to pieces and for the holding and promotion of war congress.

Dude 1: “Obama is so awesome. He’s totally proven that he deserves that Nobel Peace Prize that was awarded to him. He really wants to help people in the Middle East.”

Dude 2: “Really? If by 'help' you mean blowing Middle Eastern people to bits with an ongoing illegal US drone campaign. Then oh yeah! Jeez man. The only prize Obama has proven that he deserve the Nobel Pieces Prize.”

Consolation Prize

A prize given to each person, by each person within failed relationship based upon how long the relationship lasted.
Example:
1-6 days = no prize awarded
1 wk = chocolate chip cookies
1 mo = chocolate cake
1 yr = chocolate ice cream
2 yr = chocolate covered pretzels
3 yr+ = chocolate pudding

Warning: Be cautious of food allergies & or sensitivities.

The Princess & Cowboy did not qualify for a consolation prize because they were unable retain a healthy relationship for more than 2 days.

The butcher, baker & candlestick maker qualified for the chocolate pudding consolation prize.