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An extraordinarily stupid holiday tradition practiced by white, suburb-dwelling families which involves "hiding" a creepy doll somewhere in the house, for their young children to find. This may seem innocent enough, but the real motive behind this fad is to attempt to control the offspring's behavior through the threat of the Elf telling Santa Claus of the misdeeds they committed under the omnipotent surveillance of the Elf. A adult satire of this is Whore in the Drawer, simply replacing the Elf with a scantily clothed Barbie doll, and the shelf with a cabinet or drawer.
Wife: Jim, did you hide the Elf on the Shelf
Husband: No Carol, for fuck's sake, I told you it gives me the willies.
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Supermarket food reduced price area where goods are reduced in price. Usually near the best before or expiry date.
I got some great bargains from the supermarket shame shelf today.
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The unwanted toys at a retail outlet.
Man I wanted a Marvel Universe Blade figure but all they had were shelf warmer Spidermans.
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To put a dip in your top lip, as oppossed to the more widely used bottom lip.
My bottom lip was tore up, so I had to turn to top shelfing it today.
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When shelfing (or shelving- i.e inserting something in your rectum, usually ecstasy for increased absorption rate) the way that one knows they have done so correctly.
Go in with your finger and curl it back over- place it on the top shelf.
Dude: Here man shelf this.
Other Dude: ...... I've never done that before.......how do i, you know, know its in the right spot.
Dude: Up and over- top shelf. (Whilst doing up and over motion with index finger.)
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1. An elderly woman's vagina, dusty after years of neglect
2. Any vagina that hasn't been used in a long time
That chick never gives it up, she probly got a dusty shelf.
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A very creepy tradition perpetrated by adults around children of young ages. The legend goes that the elf on the shelf is hidden and watches the children and then reports back to Santa with his findings. In a nutshell, this is Santa's NSA, with less phone taps. Although this may seem a jocular activity to keep your offspring in line, it actually is a pervy way to watch over your kids, using the threat of not receiving gifts during the holiday season. The adult version of this practice is not-so-subtly named whore in a drawer
Dad 1: Hey Rick did you hide the elf on the shelf for little bobby and Susie this year?
Dad 2: Hell yeah I did, Arty. I put it in the bathroom so my kids will shit bricks.
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