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A Jacob is a friendly, irritatingly smart yet height-disadvantaged male who has more chemistry past paper print-outs than past experience with speaking to girls. He will always be willing to hang out, but will have to sadly reject due to his revision-packed schedule. Jacob likes nothing more on a Saturday morning than to devour a bowl of Weetabix and punt a couple of crochet balls. If you are ever looking for a Jacob around town, be sure to check the local Londis as he will often be found negotiating the price of Prime energy with the shopkeeper. It is always a good idea to keep a Jacob at hand, as he will often know the answer to most typically redundant physics questions and can be relied upon to make a prick of himself after a single egg cup of 0.1 percentage beer. One downside of a Jacob is that he will be irrevocably musically inept, and will neither be unable to sing the tune of a song nor clap along to the beat. Buyers are informed that Jacob will 9 times out of 10 come with an absolutely middle haircut.
In conversation:
"Hey, saw you head into ALDI just then, what you buy?"
"Oh, nothing, I just heard there was a Jacob wandering around in there, thought I might check it out."
"Whoa! I better go sneak a peek myself!!"
Receiving a message or snap from the local Jacob:
"What's this message I've ju... Oh It's from Jacob. Better ignore it then." (probably biology advice)
A bitch with big feet and a big ol heart
girl #1 : EW JACOB
girl #2 : he’s got such a big Dick!
the kind of guy who will take your virginity in a parking lot and cheat on you shortly afterwards
friend 1: that guy is hot
friend 2: careful, that’s jacob
friend 1: oh f*ck
Big nose and only gets the hoes.
Jacob has the biggest nose in the world, he should be in the world record books for biggest nose.
Jacob is a handsome young nice man, he’s normally got brown hair and mostly blue or green eyes. Jacob’s very passive towards friends always smiles and shows his good kind side. When looking for friends he struggles a bit to talk but it doesn’t stop him from trying. To his family he’s lovely but sometimes can be very annoying to get attention. Also he can get very angry when play video games, this can turn him into saying nasty things towards family and peers. Finally he has a huge 10 inch whale cock that pleasures anyone who dares to try it, it’s a madness when any girl gets on that bed.
“Jacob is the bestest friend who will ever meet, you’ll regret him if you let him go.”