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Not to be confused with jazz hands. A temporary condition that occurs when a guy finishes masturbating, primarily in the shower, and he looks down at his hands to see some jizz still there. He tries to wash it off, bit it just stays on his hand, then moves to the other hand, then back. He finally gets it off and onto the shower floor after like 5 minutes of trying. This is why you have to make sure the jizz hits the floor, not your hands.
Gary: ...ahhhhhh...
Gary: Okay, now I'm done fapping and can now focus on my sad, lonely existence. Let me just look at my hands before I wash my hair - wait, what? Dammit, I guess I got jizz hands.
A masturbation technique whereby the masturbateur is cut off from the senses of his own hands and can pathetically pretend to be receiving a hand job from a female partner.
This is found commonly in the Oxford, England area; it involves 1. using the less preferred masturbation hand 2. disguising this by painting the fingernails, and 3. sitting on the hand to make numb.
Stop Pras-handing you sad perverted freak, wash off that nail varnish and come down to the pub to find a real bird.
A trader who gets scared and sells. Then watches those with diamond hands land the profits
I wanted to hold, but I was a pussy. I had Portnoy hands. I sold early to watch my wife’s boyfriends rich uncles take all the profits
When you shove your hand waaayy up someone's butthole and it gets stuck
Aw man I was having some nice sexy times and i had a tragic hand
A word to define something random placed over ones hand, usually an envelope but can be any random object that's not meant to go on your hand.
Riley: "Look I made a hand chim! "
Whilst waving an envelope placed over his hand.
When someone rights in their own poop they have brown ass hands called brass hands.
Dude, you wrote on the wall with your own poop. Now you have brass hands.
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King's Hand: A dish so blessed that only a true madlad is capable of conquering.
Alien 1: why is that human hiding vegetables in it's dessert?
Alien 2: I've yet to determine that, but I tried to tell him the key to solving world hunger in his dreams, and he woke up screaming "King's Hand?" It could be related....