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A hand-held wank is were someone looks at porn on a hand-held device such as ''mobile phone'' or ''I pod/ I phone'' and then pleasures themself to it.
Jim: Hey Jack how come you got so much porn on your iphone?
Jack: No reason
Barry: I bet its because he likes to use it for Hand-held wanks
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The act of self pleasure where one (usually a butcher) takes a freshly sharpened knife and places it underneath his scrotum whilst masturbating. Knowing that any slip or excessive movements will cause severe damage adds to his depraved sense of excitement.
Mum warned me not to use her good steak knives if I was to have a cheeky Butchers Danger Wank.
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A good insult to give someone OR an illegal sweet.
Shut the fuck up you wank shafting haribo
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general discust in the situation or frustration.
person one : no white paint in here!
person two: oh bollocky wank shite.
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A wank performed in a standing position whilst inserting your thumb into your ass
i walked in on my brother the other day and he was stood on the bed having a wank with his thumb up his arse. he just turned around and said "fuck off! i'm trying to have a fudgie bum wank"
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Pot noodle wank, a pot noodle wank is when your bird goes out for a steak dinner, and leaves you home alone to fend for yourself, thus leaving oneself lonely and hungry with the only option of a Pot Noodle Wank.
Liam: what you doing for tea tonight Tweed?
Tweed: Well, Laura’s gone out for dinner with friends, looks like it’s Pot Noodle Wank and maybes a cry for me tonight.
Liam: is there room for one more?
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The art of sneaking up to someone with white hair and cutting a lock of their hair and then wrapping it around ur cock and masturbating with it. Named so because all angels have white hair
Luke: Man cut a lock of his hair out, i need an angel hair wank.
James: Forget that i've got a fresh bag at home from the hairdressers
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