we need to talk

The 4 most fatal words to a relationship.
(usually said by the "Female Companion")
If you hear her say these words dump her fast!
WARNING: She may not want to break up so be careful.

Female Companion: "We need to talk"
Guy: thinks to himself "Shit!"

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we need to talk

i need to bitch to you about something that is damned serious.

honey, we need to talk about how to control our son's desire for porn.

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talk show cow

Those fat, ugly, trailer trash women on talk shows, like "Jenny Jones", "Jerry Springer" and "Maury", always bitching about who's the father of their babies.

Another talk show cow bitches about her stupid problems.

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talking salmon

A rare fish found in lakes and rivers of the Southwest USA that comes to the surface and makes noises resembling a young human, such as "Mama" "Dada" and "Baby want some milk".

John: Yeah, I'm going fishing at Pena Blanca this weekend. Maybe I'll catch some talking salmon.

Stupid bitch: Talking salmon?

John: Yeah you know, those fish that swim up and go, "Mama, Mama, baby want some milk."

Stupid bitch: Oh.

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tough talking tocks

hypnotically pert buttocks!!

tight buttocks that TAKE NO PRISONERS!!

that judy has GOT herself a butt!! -you: yeah! tough talking tocks!!

i seed me some tough talking tocks, and about shot some 'cream'!!

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TED-talk voice

A singsongy, patronizing tone used to air your latest mundane idea that you appear to think is some kind of high-brow epiphany.

Your proposed solution to all of the world's problems would leave everybody who isn't a white middle-aged man with a steady job to fend for themselves. Put away the TED-talk voice and go do the math, you pretentious fuck!

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Talk Me to Death

shut the f**k up I don't care

A: -long story that wasn't relevant to anything at all-

B: talk me to death dred

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