Tucker's Law

A law inductively arrived at by a Mr. Malcolm Tucker, star of "The Thick of It" and "In the Loop." Tucker's Law goes as such:

If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck up because that cunt's a cunt.

Tucker: Well that's easy then, Tucker's Law!
Tucker: I've got that embroidered on a tea towel at home

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Stratten's Law

A social rule that goes, "The younger and hotter a women is, the more she dates losers."

Origin: Dorthy Stratten, who at age 20 was one of the youngest Playmates of the Year. She felt obligated to date her high school boyfriend who "discovered" her for the Playboy Empire. Supposedly when she was planning to dump him, the boyfriend killed her in a murder-suicide.

What you expect, Stratten's Law at work again.

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Rosscott's Law

The faster the computer, the faster it can go wrong.

Rosscott's Law burned me when my new computer crashed not less than a day after I purchased it.

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Purdy's Law

You can get head from a girl, as long as her tits stick out farther than her stomach. No matter how fat the bitch is.

"Hey Tommy, i heard you got some dome last night. Did she pass Purdy's Law?

ya...fuck you i was really drunk.

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Husband in Law

The man who your wife has married, despite the fact that the two of you have yet to divorce. While bigamy is illegal, it isn't very difficult if you're used to living a secret life and don't have a problem lying under oath.

"Dude, you think you've got it bad? My inlaws are now my outlaws and I've got a crazy husband in law. When did I sign up for this crap?"

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Blair's Law

Coined by Australian journalist, Tim Blair as "the ongoing process by which the world's multiple idiocies are becoming one giant, useless force."

1. The alliance between the radical Left and extremist Islamists is an example of Blair's Law.

2. The fact that white supremicists like David Duke supported 'Mother' Sheehan's sit-in at Crawford, TX is an example of Blair's law.

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Icke's Law

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of identifying HAARP as a causal explanation for observed phenomena approaches 1 (100%).

Poster #1: "What causes global warming?"

Poster #2: "HAARP."

Poster #3: "Icke's Law in two posts."