Rural Dictionary

myspace

One of many things:

1- The inevitable cause for the complete disregard and obliteration of real human one-on-one, in person interaction . Because people actually pass this shit off as communication and pressure you into getting one or else they claim you won’t get full insight into their warped lives, you’re not hip and you’ll face being debarred from their life because you don’t care enough if you won’t get one. A fucking handicap for all you fucks to lazy or too self-absorbed in your bohemian “fuck what the world thinks CUZ IT’s so 2toally MY lIfE!” to get off your computer and tell that to people in their fucking faces. A place where people have no problem telling strangers and their “online buds” more about themselves then they tell people they’ve known for years. Where they post more information about themselves than anyone cares to read….I mean you’re like less than an inch away from revealing your fucking thong size and that’s only cause your shitty camera has a fuckhole lens that didn’t quite capture the tag on it clearly. Mostly a place to let your arrogance bleed on to the world wide web and still have the disgust to bitch and moan about insignificant events in your life that you claim make your life suck despite the fact that you’re always partying and living a decadent RAWK STAR lifestyle as your fugly pics and blogs point to it. A place where you clearly get THAT persons point of view of themselves…everyone paints themselves to be this super cool, nice person…which is total bullshit…. Hey, be honest and admit you’re a cunt. It’s always, “Poor me…so-and-so is being a bitch and I don’t know why…why have they changed so much...I didn’t even do anything, I’m perfect….” Like you never get mad at people and wished they’d get hit by a 18-wheeler bursting in flames. Then there’s those who hate everyone and ANGST.ANGST.ANGST. Hate everyone and go against “societies standards” and really believe that only their opinion counts and hate “close-minded” people. You hate “close-minded” people but don’t want to hear out anyone else’s opinion but your own? Riiiight….. Oh, and if you’re so against society and against conformity and trends…..WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON MYSPACE? Do you live in a box?! Do you like don’t know that like ‘Oh My GAWD’ everyone and their grandma has one now ?! Myspace = a total compost heap of total decaying bullshit…much like what comes out of world leaders to give you an idea.

2- A complete waste of time in all known possible meanings of that concept. Highly addictive whether you have one or not…..and I have yet to discover why. Also known as internet cocaine and well on it’s way to make it’s own sanctuary with “Myspacian” as the religion and Tom as the God. Cause all those other religions are SO last century.

3- A stalker haven as you morons post anything and everything about you. And your moron friends are no help leaving behind a trail of clues to what time and what “hot nightclub/event” you’ll be “hittin’ up”. Then after you’ve been harassed or some nosy ass you don’t want to read your shit hits up your page; you decide to make your fucking page private as to tell the world… “My sHitz is exclusive V.I.P. friends only.” Oh really? Then do your friends a favor and take all that “about me” horseshit off your page cause they should know that by now….that way it will reduce the load time. And if you’re such a badass and can take on the world...and more importantly could give two shits about what the world thinks…. What have you got to hide? Reality CHECK: Don’t think so highly of yourself…. YOU egotistical, stuck-up, snobbish FUCKHOLE ASSHAT. No one gives a fuck about you or your whorish ‘oh so trendy’ lifestyle.

4- And last but not least…a ridiculous unwritten list of prerequisites that will induct you into the myspace hall of idiots. That are but not limited to:
- Lots and lots of futile pictures of you and your posse that will mostly likely freeze up my goddamn computer due to overkill and everyone in these pictures is referred to as “hot” or “sexy”….uh,….no. You should really use those things on either side of your nose.
- An excessive, unnecessary list of everything that makes up what is you as a person. Consists of dill hole crap like, “I’m very social and very open-minded.” “I love to meet new people…I’m so NICE! I love to hang out with my buds and hit up the town and/or a vast number of other “fun” things to do. My friends are the best in the world… I would like totally die without them cause they understand me.”
- All claim to “hate drama”…. “fake people” and “BiTChes That B TaLkIN SHit!” Will have shit like... “HaTe All U WaNT…UR just JEalous cuz UR LiFe is SOOOO LamE!” Uh, yeah retard if you didn’t give a shit you’d ignore it and wipe your ass with it without even bring it up. Like you don’t talk shit about people behind their backs and make fun of the those YOU consider inferior. Give me a fucking break.
- Have lists of every movie that they’ve seen in their entire life and every music act that comes off the top of their head. What they do in “General” is the same…I just wish someone would have the balls to say “Takes frequent shits after meals and farts like a pig.” Now THAT’S realistic.
- Embedded music videos and YouTube crap you didn’t ask to see. But if it’s interesting it will trick you on to staying on their page for more than 5 seconds. BE CAUTIOUS!!
- Pointless Surveys and Quizzes that get old after you’ve seen more than 10 pages…. I don’t care that you prefer Strawberries over Watermelon, want to visit Italy, think fast food is gross, won’t cry at funerals cause that’s life and you’re a heartless shit, want to die in your sleep and hate your 3rd grade teacher cause she molested you. Or that you’re 90% slutty, that your name means “BULLCOCK” in some non-existent language and that you resemble some whore off a reality show. You’re friends should know that by now if you’re so fucking close and if I wanted to know….I’d be your friend and find out the old fashion way…when people still talked to people in person. Not to mention that even if you present it like your way is the only way…it really doesn’t affect the life of those around you.
- Have some sort of ‘scene’ going on. And this scene will be projected as if it’s the RIGHT and ONLY way to live your life… if not you’re boring and a LOsEr! The most common one is the “party scene” where these people flaunt their abilities to drink excessive, dress and dance like sluts but lack the balls to wear the badge of “alcoholic and wanton” proudly. There’s nothing wrong with it so wear the badge proudly and stop lying to yourself. You hate “fake people” remember?
- All have the same fucking quotes on their blatant pages. And they try to pass this shit off as the staple quotes for our generation. Pseudo-New Age Shit for Party-goers. “Tomorrow’s Never Promised!” “Life’s Too Short For Regrets!” “Love living like there’s no tomorrow!” “Living life to DA fullest!” Or some variation of the above. Tomorrow’s never promised, eh? Well, I hope you fall flat on your face after you log off your stupid myspace for the 85475847593875 time today. I doubt you know the real meaning of these quotes…they weren’t written for you to justify your crapass lifestyle. Again, a effort to pass off their life as the ‘correct way’ to live.
- Must have at least 200+ friends to be cool.
Verdict :MYSPACE IS A STINKER OF A WEBSITE.

Like ZOMG....myspace TOTALLY RAWKS! Look at all my 234,567 pics, 1,000,000 friends and my lifestyle is like the best on the face of the world! Like live with no regrets and like there's no tomorrow!!!

by yes_i'm_a_bitch November 20, 2006

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