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Republican

A Republican Is Someone Who Believes The Following:

I BELIEVE the strength of our nation lies in military might and God's help, as long as we do His Will and make this a Christian nation while supporting Israel until the day Israel is destroyed and Jesus returns.

I BELIEVE that each person's dignity, freedom, ability and responsibility must be honored unless we can encroach on these in the name of safety or other short-term excuse that the idiot populace will accept.

I BELIEVE in special rights and justice for Republican politicians, Christian leaders, the extremely wealthy and lobbyists, regardless of cause as long as the money is right.

I BELIEVE in equal justice and equal opportunity for everyone else, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability, unless we're talking about lazy black people, illegal Mexican people, uneducated women, homosexuals, or, if justice and opportunity for disabled people costs businesses money.

I BELIEVE large corporate profits, stock market wealth and protection of monopolies will bring this nation opportunity, economic growth and increased prosperity for the upper one percent of incomes.

I BELIEVE government should talk about fiscal responsibility and allowing individuals to keep more of the money they earn, but should actually borrow and spend recklessly and place the full burden of taxes on those with lower and lower incomes and future generations for short term gain. Any taxes on the rich are socialism.

I BELIEVE the proper role of government is to advance Christian evangelical morals through tax code, control of education, judicial appointments, privatization and the proper Christian philosophies of wealth and warfare.

I BELIEVE the most effective, responsible and responsive government is government run by those who know best, and all means necessary must be used to work against poll access by the lowly, the lazy, the stupid and the poor.

I BELIEVE the Republican Party was founded by America's founding fathers to fight Roe vs. Wade, to protect "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance they wrote, to put "Under God" on our money, and to keep the Ten Commandments in our Courtrooms and government buildings.

I BELIEVE that we must never speak to our enemies, unless they're very big enemies with money and cheap labor agreements.

I BELIEVE in free trade with lower nations that provide cheap labor and higher profits and any attempt to induce labor or environmental equality on these nations is liberalism.

I BELIEVE you're either with us or you're with the terrorists. If you do not have the same beliefs we do, you are un-American and worthy of derision, abuse, vandalism, placement on no-fly lists and investigation.

I BELIEVE anyone labeled "liberal" is a socialist, which is actually communist, which is actually Marxist, which means evil.

I BELIEVE abortion must be made illegal, but stopping extramarital and teen sex is more important than reducing abortion rates, so I support abstinence-only education, blocking of access to birth control by teens, and punishing poor people for being lazy by blocking access to health care to those women who want to keep their babies.

I BELIEVE Americans must retain only those principles that we consider important while developing new and innovative ideas for bringing power to a Republican executive branch and reducing the power of the annoying Congress and the activist Courts.

I BELIEVE Americans value and should preserve our national strength and pride while working to extend peace, freedom and human rights to good Americans only, and to create international opportunities throughout the world to develop inexpensive manufacturing for American companies.

FINALLY, I believe the Republican Party is the best vehicle for translating these ideals into positive and successful principles of government, and I believe we must use any means necessary, including lies, smears, voter suppression, federal police, the Secret Service, warrantless spying, even the destruction of lives and reputations, to progress our God-endorsed agenda.

"Those right wing Republican nut jobs are extremely bigoted, ruthless, and evil."

by Juan In A Million August 6, 2009

280๐Ÿ‘ 200๐Ÿ‘Ž


Republicans

The ones who help people with the means to help themselves.

Republicans like tax cuts for rich.

by Miguel Iturralde May 17, 2007

130๐Ÿ‘ 85๐Ÿ‘Ž


republicans

Self-rightous assholes who force their beleifs on everyone. Always thinking they're the best and the very reason we're at war.

I think George Bush is an example of republicans enough.

by Blue Ruse August 15, 2006

393๐Ÿ‘ 295๐Ÿ‘Ž


republicans

Someone who has clearly never read the Bill of Rights, even the first freaking clause.

Republicans will stare at you like an alien if you mention "Congress shall make no law respecting the establishment of a religion..."

by AVoiceofReason June 19, 2006

390๐Ÿ‘ 294๐Ÿ‘Ž


republican

A party of dumbasses which rape the world and destroy the nation with mass corruption. People who CLAIM to Morally Conservative, but turn out to be just as sodomnic and faggot as all the other parties. Basically a puppet party, where there is a candidate of high status that releases a bunch of propaganda to nation and hopes enough idiots belive waht he says and fall in to his trap so he may corrupt the nation for another term.

dumb american: I am against liberals and all this other sodomn bullshit. I want some sort of independence and other dumbassed american ideals, I must be a Republican! (NO) Now it's time for my ultra clan leader to declare war on all nations, put our nation in complete poverty - control and slavery, and allow him to steal billions of dollars so the freemasonics can be in power forever.

cool guy (me): It's really time for a third party that's neither ultracorrupt and enslaving nor sodomnic and crazy radical liberal.

by the truth hurts March 30, 2005

451๐Ÿ‘ 346๐Ÿ‘Ž


Republican

They are the U.S. fascist movement who uses the church to brainwash people to vote republican. Also see nazi.

I'm going to move to Canada because the Republicans are ruining this country.

by Jaymes G. June 18, 2005

424๐Ÿ‘ 326๐Ÿ‘Ž


republican

Something that sucks, is incredibly awful, or a horrible mistake that will have lasting consequences.

"Damn, why did my boss fire me? That is so Republican."
"Damn, why did I run my car in to a brick wall? That is so Republican."
"Damn, why did I drop that ball like that? That is so Republican."

by Political gymnastics? June 28, 2005

436๐Ÿ‘ 336๐Ÿ‘Ž