chair pirating

the practice of stealing a person's seat when they temporarily leave it vacant. very common when there is an abundance of people with a limited number of places to sit.

"Don't steal my chair, bro, I call no chair pirating."
"I just got up for a mountain dew and he chair pirated me!"

Chair shot

To pick up a steel folding chair, make sure that it's in the folded position, and beat the fuck out of another person's face with it. Usually used in professional wrestling.

Jim Ross: OH MY GAWD, KING! That chair shot busted him wide open!

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Chair Fart

When the chair you are sitting on makes a noise resembling the sound of a fart, especially in leather car seats or swiveling chairs. This is very annoying 100% of the time.

"Pfffffftttttt"
Girl: "Eww what was that!?"
Guy: "Relax, just a chair fart."

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Bitch Chair

The chair at a table, usually for a meal gathering where the chairs that reside at the table are all the same and an extra chair is needed. The bitch chair is not equal to other chairs and carries the general traits of being shorter, less comfortable and uglier than all other chairs at the table. If all chairs at the table are different, the ugliest, shortest and/or most uncomfortable one is the bitch chair.

"man, we went over to Persephone's pad for a rad dinner but I got stuck with the bitch chair"

"OK, who's sitting in the bitch chair?"

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Throwing Chairs

to talk trash about a friend or aquaintance, to publicly denounce or disrespect. When throwing shade it's immediately obvious to on-lookers that the thrower, and not the throwee, is the bitcy, uncool one.

"Jon, are you throwing chairs?"

blame it on the chair

when somebody farts, usually in school, and to avoid embarrassment, blames their chair for being 'squeaky'

*silence*
*child farts*
*everyone looks round*
*thinks to self...blame it on the chair!*
uhhh...it wasn't me...i think my chair is a bit squeaky...

chair day

On national chair day give your friends a present under $20, if you give them a present you have all right to push them off chairs all day (this day is July 10th)

Person1: here’s your chair day present

Person2: oh no

*person1 pushes Person2 off her chair with all her force*
R.I.P person2 2008-2021

Police: why did you push her

Person1: i gave her a present on CHAIR DAY
Police: ok 😏😉
*police falls in love with person1, but she could never love a pig

(Pig= police)