New Zealand Whoopie Cushion

When a woman is having sex with three men at the same time and all holes are being occupied, and a fourth man would like in on the action. Since all holes are occupied, the man sits on the woman's stomache like a whoopie cushion and pops out all three penises, thus getting the woman to himself and ultimately excuting the New Zealand Whoopie Cushion.

I walk in my house to find my girlfriend having sex with three men, but instead of fetching a steak knife, I use my common sense and simply sit on my girlfriend's stomache, ejecting all three penises and getting my girlfriend back. The New Zealand Whoopie Cushion strikes again.

14👍 11👎

New Zealand is forgotten on maps

It almost always is. You know, even IKEA forgot it on a map. That’s just disappointing. Is New Zealand really that irrelevant? At least some maps have two New Zealands. What if New Zealand made a empire? Would all countries in the empire also be forgotten on maps? Who knows, we just know that this kiwi island is so irrelevant that people keep forgetting it on maps.

Person 1: Hey, New Zealand is forgotten on maps so much! It’s annoying.

Person 2: I agree, it’s honestly sad.

New Zealand 7/11

When you go off to New Zealand to have a 7-way with complete strangers. It’s open all hours of the night and there’s a chance someone might catch a STD.

Tobias: Hey Riley, I got several of my mates at my house tonight and we need just one more person to perform a New Zealand 7/11.
Riley: no thanks, I don’t want to get sick.

2👍 1👎

schaeffer’s new zealand deck sealant

An ad done by a New Zealand guy who keeps talking about his deck but it sounds like he’s saying dick

“Hey, get that squirrel off my dick! He knows he’s not allowed to come on my dick!” Quote Schaeffer’s New Zealand Deck Sealant guy

World famous in New Zealand

A term coined by Kiwis which refers to something average that nobody else in the world gives a fuck about except New Zealanders,.
It is used to make said thing sound more interesting and beloved than it actually is.

Man 1: Have you been to that obscure attraction in the rural obscure town?
Man 2: Yeah! It’s world famous in New Zealand

1👍 1👎

New Zealand's Next Top Model

Reality television show from New Zealand that searches for a Top Model, has stood out, turned heads and become shit hot thanks to judge Colin Mathura-Jeffree. His individual style and charm has made him THE face of television in New Zealand. Everyone strives to do a 'Mathura-Jeffree' at least once a day!

New Zealand's Next Top Model has three judges, Colin, Mathura and Jeffree! if he ain't on I ain't watching

84👍 23👎

Franco-New Zealand Steam Roller

Spread some sort of lubricant on a smooth floor. Then place a partner on the floor. Make him/her commence oral sex then pull him/her by their bush along the floor. (the pubic bush)

Shes completely bald after i gave her the Franco-New Zealand Steam Roller.

24👍 7👎