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Giving someone a "Canada's History", formally known as "The Beaver", is when a man sits in the Stanley Cup and pours syrup over his nuts until he is submerged. He then releases some back-bacon farts up into the syrup. Another person then inhales the fart bubbles through a moose skull and/or antlers.
Melissa is so into me I could probably give her a "Canada's History" on our first date
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When two willing Canucks, lubricate Canadian bacon or an ice hockey stick with Canadian maple syrup and enter it into each other's orifices, while speaking French and being intoxicated on Molson, and then videotape it to remember their gleeful perversion.
Last night, we got sh*t faced but I can't remember what we did until I saw the video and remembered Canada's History.
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One of the most depraved sexual acts possible, comprising raptophilia, food play, coprophilia, and bestiality (with optional necrophilia).
To perform a Canada's History: track down and forcefully detain a Prime Minister of Canada (living or deceased), then strip him or her naked except for a tuque on the head. Cover all participating members with maple syrup. (The syrup should be slightly warmed for lubrication and comfort.) Spread beaver fecal matter over the chest of each person, shaping the feces into a maple leaf. The live beaver should then be passed around to each participant who may kiss, embrace, or sodomize the animal as they please. The beaver's tail can be used to flagellate the Prime Minister if he or she is unwilling to perform any steps. Participants may then assume their favourite copulative positions, although "O Canada" should be continually sung, or at least hummed if the mouth is obstructed.
The Canada's History is a shockingly offensive and explicit ritual. Despite this, it gains popularity online for its adventurous and hardcore qualities, and will most surely be a commonplace term on internet fetish sites within the next couple years.
"What are you doing?"
"Looking at pictures from the newest issue of Canada's History magazine."
"You sick fuck."
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The shortest man in a group of at least five men must take a huge dump in the Stanley Cup. Then, the rest of the men in the group must all ejaculate on said feces pile. Finally, an entire bottle of 100% Canadian maple syrup is poured overtop the steaming fudge pile. The man in the group with least amount of hair on his head must then eat the delicious favour medley while getting poked in the buttocks with a pair of moose antlers.
Known by many French-Canadians as "Le Grande Poo-tine"
Stephen Colbert wanted the definition of Canada's History from a true Canadian
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A depraved sexual act the likes of which could not be described by Stephen Colbert because of it's sheer depravity. It's quite depraved.
Yo, last night I got to do Canada's History to this hot bitch! It was quite depraved!
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1) An act of sexual deviance too despicable to be explained to a virgin or anyone over the age of 37, involving moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, the Stanley Cup, and an occasional Hot Pocket.
2) In south California, the act of dripping freshly cooked Hot Pocket contents onto the reproductive organs of a marmot.
Hey Mr. Pitt, is it true that you and your wife performed Canada's History to the seductive sounds of Boxcar Willie?
Yes, but the marmot didn't make it.
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An unmentionable sexual act involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. This act involved the use of the maple syrup as lube on the antlers to be placed in two individuals' assholes, they take turns masturbating into the Stanley Cup until it fills, and then take turns drinking their semen out of the cup.
"I can't wait to do some Canada's History tonight!"
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