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Random
A beer can opener. Unfortunately, use of this instrument has declined since the pop top appeared in the mid 1960s.
Lolly and Harriet are bringing the beer. Don't forget to bring a church key.
271👍 60👎
the place for a scared gangsta who takes on a dangerous job, but decides to back out of the plan at the last minute. he is all talk but no action.
"if you a scared muthafuka, go to church - you knew the job was dangerous when you took it"
289👍 65👎
This is a church in which the belief system revolves around the practical and sometimes impractical use of cannabis sativa and indica. Much like the church of scientology, there is the use of stress tests at kiosks in malls, (they actually escort you outside to their 1974 Ford conversion van with the wolf howling at the moon paint job, and the stress test is just you hitting a vaporizer,) there are massive amounts of cash rolling into the church, and the church was founded by an egotistical writer by the name of B. Sam Verbeck. The differences lie in that the church of cannabinology is not anti-homosexual, it is not a cult, it's basically just a front for copious amounts of weed being dealt to the public with a tax free status. If you are to join the Church of Cannabinology, you'll see that many of life's problems go away when you get blazed and played Super Mario Allstars all day long.
Stoned dude: Oh my ganj! You gotta check out the stress test that the guys from the Church of Cannabinology are giving out!
Not stoned dude: You mean Scientology?
Stoned dude: No man, Cannabinology! Check out the kiosk, they blaze you out with a volcano vaporizer and some real heady nugs!
Not stoned dude: Cannabis H. Sativa! I'm there bro!
30👍 4👎
what word jake paul uses when he cant rhyme the word "merch" in his trashy song
drop some new merch and it's selling like a god church - jake from state farm (2017)
432👍 106👎
A gravel parking lot for a church just off of Taylor Street in Kennett Square, PA. This lot is an infamous hang out where mostly kids from Kennett High School, and a few 20-something thugs still living in K-Town, "chill" after school and smoke cigarettes bought from the local BP. Many have been known to carry out drug deals, toke before school, or have had sex in this church's parking lot. The lot is this way because the only kids who park there are ones who didn't finish thier senior projects, aren't planning on graduating, or underclassmen who think it's bad ass to be there. When a fight is brewing at school, you know something will go down in the church lot after school. The lot is it's own little society and will continue to be this peculiar microcosm so long as the Kennett Police doesn't break up the loitering.
did you hear what happened in the chruch lot yesterday?
meet me in the church lot
after the church lot i'm hittin' up the BP for some more cigs
34👍 5👎
In a godless and cruel world, the Church of Dog rises from the ashes and brings hope and prosperity to all of the land and its residents. Church of Dog is a "religion" that bests all others (take that Jesus!) because they worship the holiest of beings; DOGGOS!
The philosophy of the Church of Dog is “efo eta douuug” -- “Ine eta douuug”
All those who are not a member and a faithful believer in the Church of Dog and its holy leaders will perish in a land of eternal suffering with no good bois. Douuugs will rule these lands and trample any non-believers! PRAISE THE DOUUUGOS! WE DECLARE WAR ON ANY BEING THAT DISAGREES WITH OUR FAITHS AND WE WILL BITE YOUR ANKLES! (If you're allergic to doggos theres simply no explanation other than that you were a mistake).
For people who don't belong to an organized religion or just need an excuse to be lounging on Sunday morning. Particularly useful to newcomers in the Bible Belt. Similar to Home Schooled.
Friend: So what church do you belong to?
You: I'm home churched.
Friend: Would you like to go to church with me this weekend?
You: No thanks dude, I'm home churched.