The Jesus Bump

Noun

1. Euphemism for awkward Christian sex.

2. Christian dry humping

3. Mormon anal sex

4. A dance move done by Christians in which they spread their arms out to the side to look like Jesus on the cross. Then with feet together hop to the beat of music with knees barely bending. Palms facing forward.

Verb

-ed, ing

The act of doing any of the above

Dude, that Mormon girl; she's totally down for the Jesus Bump.

Yea, man, she was so uptight. But she let me Jesus Bump that.

Man, that Baptist girl was a freak. We did the Jesus bump and soaking.

jesus groupies

religious, but too religious. meet at hipster coffee shops and talk about israel and jesus over coffee.

i saw jesus groupies talking about jesus with every word being jesus.

Bald Jesus

Boomer slang for blow job

Becky gave me a Bald Jesus on the way to the third floor.

zombie jesus

Just plain jesus after he rose from the dead.

Mary Magdelane - Holy jesusfuckshits it's zombie jesus.
Romans - Get him!!!
Jesus - Later fools, he rises to heaven while saluting earth with a heavenly su-fi.

168👍 308👎

jesus tits

The best damn tits there are

23👍 33👎

jesus poop

perfect poop that doesn't leave cling-ons and yet cleanses your colon; the kind of poop you pray for when in a public bathroom - easy, no straining, and no mess

"I eat Activia (tm) once a day so that I know I'm gonna have jesus poops! Spares me embarrassment, man."

23👍 33👎

Jesus Christmas

Jesus Christ for those hardcore catholics/christians who have NO BALLS and will not seriously take the lords name in vain

"Jesus Christmas i dropped my fone in the pool"

8👍 7👎